


Clunky Dancing

by brainsfrittata



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-23
Updated: 2014-10-14
Packaged: 2018-02-05 22:57:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 24,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1835317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brainsfrittata/pseuds/brainsfrittata
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His parents are strongly against dancing, especially when it comes to their only son. “Dancing is for girls”, they say. Little do they know, he sways in the darkness of his room and fantasizes about an escape to the rhythm of samba. He prays for someone to come and take him away from the dullness of his perfect life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Extremely loosely based on the movie Dirty Dancing. I got inspired by the idea behind the movie and tried to develop my own plot around it. This is my first Homin fic ever!! Please be kind in judging it :)

It's almost time.

The clock strikes a quarter past one a.m. and tiny, silky butterflies start forming in the pit of his stomach. He has already done this, but somehow it always feels like the first time.

Carefully opening his bedroom door to avoid the ultra loud creaking sound, he manages to slide out. The annoying snore coming from his parents' room makes him sigh in relief.

He hurries towards the front door, unlocks it and he's finally out in the night. A full moon greets him as he almost trips over the doormat.

Taking a moment to compose himself and take a deep breath, he thinks about what's to come. As usual, his heart starts racing.

A smile at the moon and he's off.

 

\------------------

 

It's half past one a.m. and the room is on fire.

At least 30 sweaty bodies are engaged in what seems like a voodoo rite. A tall, lean man stands in the middle, his whole being possessed by the pounding music.

Slowly, the tune fades into a more mellow, sensual one. Couples start forming spontaneously on the dance floor.

He stops gracefully and looks around for a split second, then nonchalantly finds his way through the crowd.

He reaches the corner of the room, where a shorter but more muscular man is cutting up a watermelon.

"Nothing's better than sweating out a long day's work, huh?"

"I'm not sure… I'd rather be lying down on my bed, getting some hard earned slee-"

"Oh come on, you're not even dancing! Well that looks tasty."

He snatches a slice of watermelon and eats it heartily.

Before the other man can even think of scolding him, he grabs his hand and guides him right in the middle of the dance floor.

"Forget the fruit and dance with me."

 

\------------------

 

He can't see much from that awfully fogged window, but what he sees is enough to make his knees weak.

It's the fifth time he sneaks out of the luxurious apartment his parents booked for the holidays in the most exclusive resort of the area.

It's the fifth time he walks unnoticed in the shadows to reach the white building in the farthest corner of the resort.

During the day, multiple dance courses for the guests are held here. After midnight, unbeknownst to most, it becomes the instructors' lair. Waiters, cooks, maids, the instructors themselves, every single worker gathers in this place to dance the stress away.

He comes to watch and daydream about the night he will finally muster enough courage to bust open the doors and jump inside.

His parents are strongly against dancing, especially when it comes to their only son. _"Dancing is for girls"_ , they say. Little do they know, he sways in the darkness of his room and fantasizes about an escape to the rhythm of samba. He prays for someone to come and take him away from the dullness of his perfect life.

A week earlier, he had merged the idea of that someone with the sight of the waiter serving them breakfast.

After ten days of refusing to get out of bed relatively early, he had given in and joined his parents at the table. With his father talking politics and his mother complaining about a chipped nail, he was left admiring the croissants.

"Tea, sir?"

Upon hearing such a low, rich voice, he had raised his head absent-mindedly.

Their personal waiter was indeed waiting for him to reply. His small but plump mouth, half-open and smiling, had asked him about tea.

Staring at the cute mole just above the upper lip, he had muttered a "Yes, please."

Two hands had swiftly proceeded to pour the hot beverage in his cup.

"Sugar?"

"Uhm… I'll help myself, thanks." he had said to the mole.

With his set of skills, it only took him half a day to know that their personal waiter was also a quite popular dance instructor after dinner.

It took him even less to discover about the night gathering.

While reminiscing the past week and feeling all warm in his chest at the thought of _his_ waiter shaking it, he doesn't notice the door opening until he comes face to face with a short, muscular man, carrying two watermelons.

"Hi kid! What are you doing here?"

"I… I was just…"

"Oh whatever, you look solid, can you help me with this?"

He shoves a watermelon in his arms with a smile.

"We gotta get these back to the kitchen, I brought them along earlier but it turns out nobody is interested in eating, they say one watermelon is more than enough, 'why didn't you bring some potato chips instead', I mean fruit is the way to go in summer, am I right?"

The rambling hits him hard. He stares at the thick fringe that almost covers the man's eyes.

"Haha, sorry kid. I know I talk too much, I just kind of forget about it. Let's just go. It's not too heavy, right? Oh, I'm Jaejoong by the way. What's your name?"

"...Changmin."

 

\------------------

 

It's two a.m. and Changmin finds himself in the main kitchen of the resort, sitting on the floor, side by side with Jaejoong. They're both drinking an ice cold beer.

"This is the good part about being the main chef. Free access to everything and anything!"

He's been talking nonstop for at least ten minutes, ever since they left the white building, but there's something about him that puts Changmin at total ease.

He sounds genuine, he's funny in his own weird way and he doesn't ask too many questions. He thinks they might become friends. Having an inside man in the kitchen doesn't sound too bad.

"So, Changmin, what about you? Are you still in school? Do you- Oh wait, you still haven't told me what you were doing out there, earlier! You looked kinda sneaky…"

There goes the thought of him not being too nosy.

"Hmm. Truth is…"

It might be the alcohol. Or the honest look in Jaejoong's eyes. Or the warmth he senses when accidentally brushing his arm. Whatever it is, it makes his feelings pour out.

"I want to dance so bad but my parents are against it. Other than that, they pretty much ignore me. Well, except for when I come home with perfect grades. I kind of hate spending the holidays in this place, they play golf all day long while I'm stuck in my room because I'm too shy to participate in anything. I don't dare to attend dance lessons during the day, so I wait for them to fall asleep and sneak out after midnight. Well… I come also because there's someone I like. I get all hot and bothered just by watching and-"

_... I can't believe I just said that._

He's not drunk enough for this.

A deep shade of red spreads furiously on his cheeks as he covers his mouth with both hands, eyes wide in shock. Beware of the quiet ones indeed.

Jaejoong laughs, but it's not mocking. It's a laughter full of marvel and innocence and sweet thoughts. He claps his hands softly.

Changmin looks at him shyly and meets his understanding gaze.

"You're so adorable… I will help you."

In Changmin's mind, Jaejoong puts on a fairy godmother costume. Brushing aside his thick fringe, he takes a final sip of his beer and gets up to dump the empty bottle in the trash.

He then extends a hand to the little ball of shame who is still sitting on the floor, dumbstruck and all kinds of red.

"Come. It's time to dance."


	2. Chapter 2

Jaejoong is still holding his hand. He's been holding it ever since they left the kitchen.

Changmin finds it kinda uncomfortable but doesn't say a word, unwilling to hurt the other man's feelings.

They're standing in front of the main door, muffled music coming from inside. Jaejoong's sweaty hand squeezes his own.

"Hmm, I like this song! Ready?"

He nods doubtfully, the voice in his head screaming _run_.

In that same moment, the door opens.

A couple comes out and almost bumps into Jaejoong. They look Changmin up and down, giggling quietly to themselves. 

He remembers that he's wearing his usual black sweatpants and his favourite Star Wars shirt, black flip flops completing the look. Not the most adequate outfit to dance in.

He peeks at Jaejoong's white jeans and light blue sheer top.

_What am I doing here?_

"Come on! Take a deep breath because it's pretty hot in there!"

A split second and they're in.

To say it's hot would be an understatement. Changmin feels like suffocating as his memory drifts back to last year's vacation in the Indonesian rainforest.

He stares at the entangled bodies, wondering how do they even function with so little oxygen available.

His guide leades him over to the food table, where a scrawny man all dressed in black is busy trying to choose between peanuts and almonds. He ends up taking a bit of both.

"Chunnie!"

"Hey, I've been looking for you, man! Where did you go? Who's this funny looking kid?"

"Oh, this is Changmin! I found him on my way to the kitchen! I brought him along because he wants to learn how to- hey, who put this dried fruit here? How on Earth did-"

Jaejoong's non-existant attention span amazes him.

As he moves behind the table to take care of the apparent disaster, the scrawny man slides near Changmin and puts an arm around his shoulders.

"Of course Jae would pick up people on his way to the kitchen. Anyway, I'm Yoochun. Nice to meet you, Changmin. And nice shirt!"

"N-nice to meet you. Thanks."

Too many introductions in one night. He feels the brief coldness of Yoochun's steel bracelet on his neck.

"So polite!" A pat on his back.

"Well, if you want to learn how to dance, that's definitely the man. The one in red."

His eyes follow Yoochun's finger pointing at a certain spot in the crowd.

His heart skips a beat.

 

\------------------

 

It might be a salsa. Looks like it.

Changmin is kind of an expert, he has watched lots of performances on the web. His favourite kind is the same-sex one. He hopes in his heart to one day be able to reach such a level that people will only care about the dance and forget all preconceptions.

What he sees leaves him speechless.

Two men are dancing together, just like in the videos he watched, and one of them is _his_ waiter.

He's wearing an half opened red silk shirt and impossibly tight black pants.

Sweat pearls up on his neck and chest as he steps forward then backwards in perfect rhythm with the music, hands clutching his partner's.

"That's my partner he's dancing with. As in real life, not dance-wise. I can move, but I'm no dancer… Those few steps I know, I learned from Junsu. You know, they're preparing a big number for the end of season revue."

He looks at Changmin to make sure he's listening.

"It's gonna be so awesome. I can't wait to see the old people squirm in their seats. Two men dancing? They're gonna talk about it for a long time, trust me."

"I… I think it's beautiful." _Could you be more obvious? God._ He mentally slaps himself and curses his big mouth.

"Yeah. Yeah, of course it is."

Yoochun seems to notice the younger man's embarrassment.

He squeezes his shoulder and looks to meet his gaze. His lips curl up in a friendly smile upon finding it.

"It's okay, Changmin. You don't have to be afraid of judgement in here. I can tell by the tension in your shoulders that you've been carrying around a burden for far too long. Relax and let go, at least for tonight". _  
_

As he feels tears well up in his eyes, he wonders where has this people been up until now.

_I must be dreaming._

The music slowly fades out. Someone announces that they'll be playing one last song and then the place closes down. Almost everybody will be starting their work in a few hours after all. 

Yoochun's partner and the waiter approach the food table. They look really thirsty.

Jaejoong springs up from behind the table, holding two cans of iced tea and almost knocking over a bowl of strawberries.

"Man, that's too sweet for me. Hand over the sparkling water!"

"Alright Junsu, mighty king of the fussy… Here, Yun." he tosses a can to the waiter, who promptly catches it.

While opening it, he glances at Changmin with an impenetrable look in his eyes. He then grabs a strawberry, still glancing over.

_Damn it, I can't even say hi. What a loser._

"Hey, meet our new friend Changmin! He's here to dance!" Leave it to Jaejoong to tone down the awkwardness.

"Yeah, I told him you're the man, Yunho!" Yoochun chimes in, after having received a kiss from Junsu.

"Hi… Everyone…"

He waves awkwardly in their general direction. Junsu smiles widely at him, slightly bowing his head.

"What's up? I'm Yunho." He stretches out a hand.

Changmin is not sure whether if it's the lack of oxygen or the sparkle in Yunho's eyes, but he feels faint. He manages to shake his hand someway.

_Of course you have a grip of steel._

"So, wanna try some moves? Do you know some already?"

"Whoa… Actually, I have never-"

"Ah, a virgin then. It's okay, just follow my lead. Come."

Changmin registers that Yunho is still holding his hand. He never broke the handshake.

Then, he finds himself face to face with him, Latin music blaring from the speakers around them. 

He tries to remember the videos, tries to remember how to breathe.

"One, two, three and four. Again, watch my feet. One, two, three and four."

Yunho places his hands on Changmin's hips. He jumps a bit from the touch.

"You have to work on your pelvis. You're pretty stiff. Again, one, two, three and four."

Upon seeing the younger man's cheek fire up, Yunho lets out a chuckle.

They keep on dancing like that for what feels like an hour, at least to Changmin.

Just as he starts feeling the rhythm, the music stops.

"It's time to go, everybody!" 

Slowly, the sweaty bodies move together towards the exit.

"There's always room for improvement. If you want, I can help."

"Alright, thank you…"

Yunho pats him on a shoulder and turns around to face the others. Suddenly, he turns around again. 

"In return for my service, can you help us clean up?"

Changmin just can't say no. He might get a chance to shove some food in his mouth after all. Plus, he gets to hang around Yunho a bit longer.

"Of course, no problem."

Yoochun winks at him knowingly. He responds with a bashful smile.

 

\------------------

 

It's almost three a.m. and Changmin lies awake in his bed.

After having helped the boys clean up, he waved them goodbye and started walking in the direction of the apartment. Jaejoong offered to go with him, despite the staff housing being in the opposite direction.

"It's okay, I don't mind walking! Besides, I have to make it up to you because I promised to help but I was distracted by the food and-"

"Alright, alright, let's go."

He unwillingly gave in, mainly to make him stop talking and out of fear he might start blabbing about his liking someone.

_Thank God I didn't tell him who it is I like._

"So, who do you like? I didn't forget what you told me in the kitchen, you know!"

Changmin facepalms mentally. They had left the group just a couple of minutes earlier.

"It doesn't matter…"

"Look, I'm not gonna push you, but I'd like to know, so that I can help. I like you and I care about your happiness!"

"You're very kind, but it really doesn't matter…"

He tried to speed up his pace, but Jaejoong easily kept up with him despite his slightly shorter legs.

"Okay, you're not ready… It's cool, just know that I'm here if you need someone to talk to. And the boys are, too. I know that for sure. We're all pretty close."

_That's exactly why I can't tell you._

Changmin sighs and sticks out a foot from under the covers.

As crazy as it sounds, the boy who hasn't had a friend ever since kindergarten ended up making four friends in a single night. Sure as hell he wasn't going to ruin things between them over a stupid crush. 

With this resolution in mind, he falls asleep.

 

\------------------

 

"You're already up? How unusual."

Changmin is getting dressed in his room. His mother, having found the door open, watches him from the door frame.

He appears to be struggling with his shirt buttons.

"Here, let me help you."

He thinks he's had enough of people wanting to help him. It makes him feel like a little kid.

"You must be particularly hungry this morning. I usually have to phisically pull you out of bed." 

"Must be the summer…" he mumbles.

Ten minutes later, they walk in the dining hall. He can't help looking for Yunho and is left slightly displeased by his apparent absence.

As they approach the table, his eyes fall on his plate.

A huge, fragrant croissant rests in the middle. His parents don't seem to notice. 

He sits down in front of it, ignoring the loud thumps coming from his chest.

"Tea, sir?"

He bites his lower lip to avoid smiling. Yunho bends forward a little.

"This blend goes really well with cream-filled croissants."

Changmin looks up and notices how close Yunho's face is. He thinks his smile could light up a Christmas tree. 

"They're your favourites, right?"

"How do you even know it?"

"Well, let's just say I'm good at my job. Enjoy."

He pours the tea and winks at him, then moves on to another table. 

Changmin bites into the croissant as he shushes the voice in his head telling him that it's just a stupid crush.

_See you tonight._


	3. Chapter 3

"Psst! I'm on an hour break, going to grab a beer with Yoochun. Wanna come?" 

It's half past two p.m. and Changmin is munching on a sandwich while sitting in his favourite chair on the terrace.

He hears a whisper coming from behind the rose bushes that makes him jump in his seat. Jaejoong's head appears above a pink rose.

"What are you doing?!" he whispers back in shock, almost choking on a tomato.

"I came to ask you out!" a big, teeth-showing grin takes up half of Jaejoong's face.

"My father is about to come back from his after lunch walk, if he sees you there-"

"I'll just pretend I'm the gardener! Or maybe by the time he comes back we'll be long gone. Hey, didn't you have lunch?"

He frowns and points at the half eaten sandwich in Changmin's hand.

"Yeah but-" 

"Nevermind, let's just go! Come on!"

 

\------------------

 

His mind keeps on going back to the croissant on his plate at breakfast. The thought of Yunho putting it there especially for him makes him dizzy. 

He doesn't even listen to what the other two are saying, all he got from their conversation is that Yoochun plays keyboard in the official band of the resort.

At least until Jaejoong brings up a certain matter. Again.

"This boy here, he has a crush on someone… But he doesn't want to tell me about it..."

"Jae, man, you might want to slow down on the drinking! Your break is almost over, it might not be a good idea to show up wasted… Besides, I think it's pretty-"

Yoochun cuts off abruptly. Changmin's eyes are fixed on him, wide in a silent plea.

"Huh? What's pretty? I am pretty." 

"Yes you are. Very much. Now, give the kid a break, alright? We've only known him for two days! Bartender, a black coffee and a big glass of water, please. That should do it."

_Thank you._

 

\------------------

 

"I don't mean to be intrusive, but why don't you want him to know?"

They are walking slowly towards the staff quarters. Changmin stares at the ground and kicks a pebble.

After having sent an half-drunk Jaejoong off to work, Yoochun had asked him to keep him company on the way back to his room.

"Actually, I don't know. I didn't plan on making it known to you, either… You just read it on my face last night, I suppose. It's just… I get this vibe from Jaejoong, that he likes him too."

He thinks about the subtle exchange of looks and gestures he saw between them the night before.

"He likes everybody." Yoochun chuckles softly. "It's just the way he is. He's flirty by nature. Look at the way he trails around you, he just loves people so much. He craves affection like if his life depends on it."

"Still, I feel like I'm coming between you guys. Over a stupid crush."

He shakes his head and lets out a sigh.

Yoochun stops walking and grabs him by the shoulders.

"Listen up, Changmin. You're not coming between us, you're becoming part of us. And liking someone is never stupid, okay? If you're worried about hurting Jaejoong, don't be. I've known him and Yunho long enough to tell you they are just good friends. Then, if you still want to give up on your unripe love, make sure he's really not interested in you first. You don't want to live with that kind of doubt, trust me."

"Wow, you are so wise…"

It comes out naturally, before Changmin can even realize it. He hopes it doesn't sound creepy or mocking.

"Well I'm older and more experienced than you, my young friend! But thank you."

As he jokes about wanting to be called professor from now on, they arrive at the main entrance of the staff quarters.

There's a lot of movement, to which Yoochun frowns.

"Most of us are either at work or resting right now, I don't get this frenzy."

Suddenly, a man stops in his tracks upon spotting Yoochun. He motions him to hurry inside, yelling about someone having fainted.

They both follow him to the infirmary, where they find Yunho fidgeting beside a bed.

"Hey, what happened? Who- Oh God."

Yoochun approaches the bed and instantly becomes ghostly pale. Junsu is laying there, his breath steady yet labored.

"He fainted half an hour ago. The doctor just left. He gave him something for the fever."

"What's wrong with him? How…?"

"Overwork." Yunho clenches his jaw. He looks tired.

"Oh, baby, no. My sweet baby."

Yoochun sits down on the bed, teary-eyed. He holds Junsu's hand while brushing some strands of hair away from his forehead.

"It's my fault. Because of that stupid number… We practiced all night, even after we got back from the party. When I left in the morning to cover the breakfast shift, he was still going over the steps by himself. I got back at 11 but he was already gone. He had the late morning samba class scheduled. I bet he didn't even have lunch… It's all my fault. I'm going to cancel that goddamn thing, if it's the last thing I do."

"Don't be silly… You have been dreaming of it ever since you started working here…"

Junsu opens his eyes, his voice coming out feeble. He looks at Yoochun lovingly, then presses a soft kiss on the back of his hand.

"Shh, it's okay. Now get some rest."

Yunho tries to smile but it doesn't look too convincing.

Suddenly, he becomes aware of Changmin's presence. With a gesture of his head, he indicates the door.

"Let's give them some privacy."

 

\------------------

 

They close the door behind them and head over to the garden.

Yunho plops down on the nearest bench.

"God I hate this. If I hand't pushed him so far… Now he's sick and it's all because of me." 

He clenches his jaw harder as he holds his head with both hands, elbows on knees.

Changmin doesn't know what to say. He leans against a cherry tree nearby.

"Over a stupid dance!!"

All of a sudden, Yunho leaps up and starts kicking the bench leg, screaming his lungs out in the process. 

At this sight, something in Changmin's head tells him to just let the other man be and wait for the fit to be over, but he does the opposite.

He rushes over and grabs him from behind, trying to hold him back.

"Stop it! You're hurting yourself! Please!"

As suddenly as it came, Yunho's anger dissipates. They're both left panting, still entangled in a tight embrace.

"Man, you're strong…" the older man is the first to break the silence.

Changmin looses his grip a bit, but doesn't really want to let go.

The warmth oozing from the broad back in front of him is irresistible. He dares to rest his forehead against the back of Yunho's head.

Words start flowing out of him, unfiltered.

"It's not your fault. Not entirely, at least." He thinks about Yoochun and his wisdom. "I know you're worried about Junsu, but I'm sure you're also disappointed and bitter about the show, and maybe you feel guilty because of it…" 

Slowly, he lets go.

In a burst of confidence, he gently tugs Yunho's arm to make him turn around. He meets a puzzled stare, but there's a hint of fire in those two eyes that makes him shiver.

"I… I think he will recover pretty soon and maybe-"

_Crap. Stop looking at me like that._

"No, Changmin… I have already decided to withdraw."

Yunho shakes his head, the fire in his eyes quickly fading.

"I can't do a solo, and no one I know is up to Junsu's level. It's pointless."

"The boy dances well, you know."

Yoochun's voice makes them both turn around. Changmin panics and stares at him in disbelief.

"Wha- Me? You're kidding, right?! I can't even-"

"Yeah, Chun, you must be kidding… He's just a newbie…"

Yunho looks defeated.

"Well, you can teach him. You're great at your job."

Changmin and Yunho exchange looks. Upon seeing that hint of fire in Yunho's eyes rekindle, Changmin feels faint.

_Just what have I gotten myself into?_


	4. Chapter 4

"This might be the best idea ever. Or the worst."

Jaejoong plays with the straw in his glass. In front of him, a mortified Changmin and a super bubbly Yunho.

"Your level of confidence kind of scares me, though."

He points the straw at the latter's face.

"It's not confidence, it's optimism! You should get some."  
Yunho flashes a blinding smile as he glances at Changmin with a knowing look in his eyes. The younger man blinks twice.

_What._

Jaejoong grimaces.

It's half past midnight and the staff quarters are rather quiet. They are sitting in the cafeteria, drinking soda while waiting for Yoochun.

"I bet he's not coming. He doesn't want to leave Junsu's side."

"That's understandable, Jae. That's the way it is with soulmates."

Changmin takes a sip of his drink and thinks about the definition of the word _soulmate_.

"So, we're starting tomorrow, right Changminnie?”

Yunho turns to face him. He lands a pat on his back.

_Ouch. Changminnie?_

"I'm not too sure about it…" he mumbles, shifting gaze between Yunho and Jaejoong.

"…but I'm willing to help, so please take care of me."

He quickly bows his head at the sight of Yunho's fading smile. The other man looks satisfied.

"I was thinking of showing you the number tonight. Jae will help."

Jaejoong almost chokes on his soda.

"Me? I'm no Junsu, Yun! I can't dance at those levels!"

"Woah, what are you getting all worked up for? I'll lead you, don't worry. This way, Changmin will be able to get the whole picture."

Having said that, he excuses himself and heads to the bathroom.

Changmin just can't resist. He slides closer to the sorry-looking man sitting in front of him.

"What's up? Why are you being so cranky tonight?

It comes out a bit harsher than he had intended to.

He bites his upper lip and carefully places a hand on Jaejoong's forearm.

"Did you want to be the one dancing in Junsu's place? We can talk to Yunho and-"

"You're kidding, right?! I'm too sane to even think of going there! Dancing is not my job, I don't even like it that much. Yunho is a great friend but he turns into a psycho when it comes to that. Good luck!"

Changmin searches his eyes, but doesn't find anything other than the usual glossy, half drunk look.

Now that he's near, he smells whisky in the man's glass.

"I'm not a drunkard, if that's what you're thinking! I just…"

"…love to drown my worries in a nice glass."

Yoochun finishes his sentence as he sits down beside him. He nods at Changmin.

"So, what is it? Your family? Work? Talk to me."

Jaejoong wears a blank look and talks in a weird, monotone voice.

"It's my dad. He phoned me earlier this evening. He got a promotion. We're moving out in September. This is going to be my last summer here."

 

\------------------

 

It's just Yunho and Changmin walking through the golf green ten minutes later.

Yoochun stayed back at the quarters to nurse not only Junsu but also Jaejoong, whose tears seemed unstoppable at least until he literally took him in his arms and started cradling him.

That little body shaken by sobs had left Changmin wonder about the true meaning of friendship.

He had no idea at first, having never truly experienced it. He had thought about the fact that Jaejoong could make new friends, that people end up drifting apart over years and that it's perfectly normal, it's what growing up is all about.

Then, all of a sudden, it had dawned on him.

The realization that bonds can't be replaced.

There might be new ones, but that doesn't mean the previous ones are forgotten.

_Oh. So that's what you're sad about._

He wonders if the fragile, ever-loving, uber-sensitive man considers him a _friend_.

"You know… Your words gave me strength, Changmin. Made me realize that while I was worried about Junsu, I was also bummed about the number… Now I'm trying to balance it out. Thank you!"

Changmin is startled. Yunho's voice sounds a bit too high-pitched in the still of the night.

All engrossed in analyzing Jaejoong's situation, he had forgotten about him walking by his side.

"Oh, it's ok. It's nothing…"

"I'm sure I already told you, but your grip of steel was amazing too."

Yunho scratches the back of his head. Changmin's eyes widen.

"It might come handy in the performance. I'm thinking of changing a few details to adjust the choreography around you."

He measures the younger man's body with his eyes. Changmin thanks the faint lights around them for concealing his blushing ears.

"You're taller than me. But I'm bigger, so I can still lead." he lets out a satisfied chuckle.

_Damn you and your obsession with leading._

As he ponders whether to feel flattered or offended, a hand grabs his own.

_Woah._

"Come on, we're almost there! Let's warm up a bit."

 

\------------------

 

Being trapped in a steamy room with a lot of sticky bodies bumping into him and being subject to curious eyes is not exactly Changmin's idea of "practice".

Still half out of breath from the brief run through the golf green, he apologises for the tenth time after having stepped on Yunho's foot.

"You know what? This isn't working."

Hands on hips, Yunho frowns.

"It's my fault, I'm such a dumb newbie…"

_You said we were going to start tomorrow, you liar._

"No, I'm not talking about you. This place, it doesn't work."

He gestures around them, wiping some sweat off his forehead in the process.

"Let's go to my cabin. Even without the music, I can still show you. At least the basics. I can't breathe in here."

He swiftly turns around to face the door, but the absence of Changmin beside him makes him turn around again.

Upon seeing the lanky boy standing in the middle of the crowd, looking all lost and dumbfounded, he narrows his eyes.

Changmin spots flames in them, this time high and fiery.

One second later, the man of his dreams is two inches apart from him and stares into his big, round eyes.

The voice coming out of his mouth low and rich like the fist time he heard it.

"Aren't you coming? I can't dance by myself."

Holding the same hand he had held earlier, Yunho leads him out.

 

\------------------

 

As expected, Yunho's cabin is a mess.

The queen size bed in the right corner still unmade, lots and lots of clothes scattered on the floor and on the rocking chair beside the wardrobe. A particularly unstable heap of books threatens to fall off the bedside table.

Changmin gasps unintentionally.

_Of course. There ought to be a catch._

Yunho invites him in. He removes two shirts that were resting on the rocking chair and motions him to sit down.

"Get comfy while I try to make this place remotely decent."

"Nah. Let me help."

"No way!"

Yunho shakes his head vigorously.

"You're the guest, what the hell…"

Changmin feels extremely brave. He shushes him by putting a finger on his lips.

"It's the only thing I'm good at."

 

\------------------

 

Five minutes later, the room looks clean and tidy. Yunho is speechless.

"How… How did you do it in five minutes?"

"It's not that hard. You just have to focus."

He thinks about the amount of times Yunho got distracted in those five minutes. With a sly smirk, he sits down on the rocking chair.

"Thanks for helping, but who told you to sit down?"

The _leader_ wiggles his index finger, motioning Changmin closer.

The sly smirk transfers from one face to the other as the _newbie_ stands up and stomps nearer.

"Alright. So, it's a salsa. I have a few how-to videotapes somewhere, you can grab them on your way out later. In the meantime, pay attention to me. Salsa is all about rhythm, so we have to start with that."

He counts out loud as he slowly steps forward, then backwards, then sideways.

Changmin struggles to keep up.

"It's not that hard. You just have to focus."

"Are you mocking me?"

"Don't look so hurt. I saw the smirk on your face a couple of minutes ago."

Changmin notices a subtle change in the room's atmosphere. A shiver creeps down his back.

"Focus. Look at me. One. Two. Three. Four. Don't look at your feet."

They lock eyes. The flames look out of control.

Yunho takes Changmin's right hand and places it on his chest.

"It's like a heartbeat. Do you feel it? Now close your eyes and follow it."

Somehow, it works. He feels it. He follows it.

He suppresses the urge to run as fast as the wind, far from that room, far from Yunho.

He decides to be another Changmin, at least for the time being.

He doesn't even mind the irking sensation provoked by Yunho's sweaty skin underneath his palm.

With these thoughts in mind, he lets the heartbeat guide him.

Before he knows it, it all ends.

Yunho stops counting and moving, but Changmin can feel his heart still beating fast.

When he opens his eyes, slanted ones gaze back at him. No flames to be found. A puzzling warmth took their place.

"See? It's really not that hard."

Yunho's voice is lower than usual. He's almost whispering. His chocolate brown eyes wander around Changmin's face.

Like a wild animal caught in the headlights, he senses danger.

"Yeah but there's still a long way to go… Anyway, I really should go back now. My parents… They might wake up."

He tries to convince his hand to move away from Yunho's chest.

"Right… I'll go with you."

"There's no need, I'm quite used to walking alone at night." _That came out pretty wrong._ "I mean, I'm not scared."

He manages to stumble over to the door with a lopsided smile.

"Are you sure, Changminnie?"

He feels like melting on the spot. It's hard being another Changmin.

"Yeah. Pretty sure. Goodnight."

Yunho opens the door for him. The humidity outside is almost unbearable.

"See you at breakfast."

"Right."

_Please let me leave. I have to leave._

He forces himself out, hating his body for not cooperating.

After a few steps on the garden tiles, he can't help turning around.

Yunho is still leaning against the door frame.

Changmin thinks _don't let me leave_ but says goodbye.

He doesn't sleep a second afterwards.


	5. Chapter 5

Morning comes and Changmin kind of hates it. Hates how it tears him apart from the little time he spent with Yunho, hates how it brings him closer to meeting him again.

The rising sun finds him sitting on the balcony, head in hands.

A stinging sensation blooms in his chest, quickly turning into a hundred daggers piercing through his heart.

_Regret._

Of course he wanted to stay with Yunho. Of course he wanted to spill out the truth about his feelings for him. Of course he wanted to keep on pretending to be another Changmin, a fierce and fearless one.

Yet, he allowed his painfully shy self to take over. Instead of letting the flames in Yunho's eyes invade him, he briskly put them out with a bucket of icy water, creating a pungent smoke that clouded his mind. He didn't even manage to tell Yunho about his parents being so against dancing.

In the frenzy of preparations and eager to please the older man, he had accepted to fill in for Junsu, only to realize that it meant dancing in front of all the guests. His parents included.

A part of him wishes he didn't care, but of course that's not the dominant one. The obedient child always takes over.

_I can't do this. I have to tell him, before stuff gets serious._

 

\------------------

 

"My God, son, did you have trouble sleeping? Look at those dark circles."

His mother outstretches a hand across the table and brushes his left cheek, inspecting the apparent disaster. He twitches lightly, moving away from her touch.

"My room is exposed to the sun all day long, it gets particularly hot at night."

He's not even done speaking that his mother is already facing away, busy looking for the waiter assigned to them.

His lips curl in a grimace. _How am I even related to these two human beings?_

Yunho approaches their table, summoned by Changmin's mother.

"Is there anything I can help with, madam?"

"Oh, finally. Why yes, thank you. I believe I have already told you this multiple times, but these peaches are too ripe for my taste. Bring me greener ones. And hot coffee for my husband while you're at it, the one you brought earlier is practically cold. And try to be quicker, dear, or I'll have to file a complaint. I'm not donating to charity here, with what I pay I should be served like a queen."

Changmin stares in disbelief. He knows his mother can be grating and bitchy, but this is beyond reason.

His father's coffee is cold because he was so busy reading his financial newspaper he forgot about the cup in front of him, and she never told Yunho about how she liked peaches. Changmin is positive. He may not look like it, but he's always alert and attentive to his surroundings. Especially at breakfast.

"I deeply apologise for any inconvenience I might have caused you with my behaviour, madam. I'll provide immediately."

Changmin stares again, this time at Yunho. He feels like slapping the politeness out of him.

As he watches him leave, still bowing in apology, he can't contain himself anymore. He snaps at his mother.

"What's wrong with you?! He's always been extremely professional and impeccable in his service! You're being so unfair!"

Her eyes widen as she fixes them on her son's face.

"What is wrong with _you_ , Changmin! You don't talk to your mother like that! Besides, what do you care for a waiter?"

She utters the last word as if it was filth dwelling on her tongue.

His father seems unfazed by the whole conversation, still shaking his head at the lowering stocks. Changmin clenches his fists, feeling all kinds of disgusted.

"That's it. I've had enough of all this."

He stands up from his seat and storms out of the room, failing to notice Yunho's eyes on him.

 

\------------------

 

It's been seven minutes and he's still mad as hell. Pondering whether to go to his room or just linger around in the hall some more, Changmin settles down on the nearest armchair.

He thinks about waiting for his parents to leave, then going back inside to talk to Yunho.

"Sir?"

He looks up and is left speechless. Yunho is standing beside him, a white box in his hands.

"Sir, I noticed you left this on your plate. I wrapped it up for you."

Changmin rises and moves towards him with a questioning look in his eyes, but as he's about to take the box, Yunho leans forward to whisper in his right ear.

"See you at two over at my cabin. We have work to do."

"Right. Thank you, I'll eat this in my room."

Changmin takes the box from his hands with a nod, all fears and insecurities he had felt at dawn now swept away by a new determination to stand up to his mother and to injustice. To stand up for _him_.

 

\------------------

 

At ten minutes to two Changmin knocks on the cabin's door. When it opens, a strong smell of coffee pervades his nostrils. A hot cup is shoved in his hands.

"Hi! Here, I made plenty. We're so going to need it."

Yunho looks like he already had at least five. All bubbly and lively, he bounces from one corner of the room to the opposite one. He rummages through a pile of old records, apparently looking for the perfect one. A blink of an eye later, he's by the stove heating up some more coffee. Then, he disappears into the wardrobe and pulls out a red silk shirt, just like the one he was wearing the first time they met on the dancefloor. He throws it in Changmin's direction, but as the younger man is facing away, lured by the pile of old records, it lands straight on his head.

"Oh! Sorry, Changminnie! Quickly, put that on so we can start."

"Hey, wait a minute!"

Changmin removes the shirt from his head and puts it on the table, together with the cup of coffee he somehow managed to gulp down despite its temperature. Yunho stops flailing around and turns to him, expectantly.

"First of all, I want to apologise in my mother's stead. She was just horrible to you."

Yunho tries to mask it with a smile, but Changmin doesn't miss the shadow overcasting his face for a brief moment.

"It's no big deal… I can be a little absent-minded at times, I'll give her that."

"No, it just isn't fair! You're hardworking, dedicated and always extra nice, especially to old hags who don't really deserve it!"

His flushed face gives away just how much he cares about the topic, but he couldn't care less. He just wants Yunho to understand the point and accept his apology.

"Thanks, but being extra nice is kinda part of my job, you know…" A shit-eating grin cuts through his handsome features.

"You know what I mean, Yunho."

Changmin almost scares himself at how serious he sounds. The older man lowers his head slightly, hands fidgeting at the hem of his shirt. The grin is replaced by a frown.

"Of course I know what you mean. I know it's not fair, but what can I do? It pays the rent. I can't snap at people, Changminnie."

"I'm not asking you to quit your job, I just want you to accept my apology. And maybe believe in yourself a bit more."

Changmin is extremely proud of himself. This is the most talking he has done to Yunho.

"I also wanted to say sorry for another thing" he adds, before letting him respond. "I'm sorry because I was about to tell you that I wanted out. I was scared of my parents seeing me dance, but now I really don't give a damn."

He takes off his shirt and turns around to grab the red silk one. The fabric is soft and pleasant against his skin. He feels Yunho shifting, and when he turns to him he's wearing a matching one. They move closer to one another as the music starts.

"Your words always give me strength, Changminnie. Where have you been until now?"

"...I could ask you the same thing."

Upon seeing Yunho's eyebrows rise and his lips part faintly, Changmin freezes.

"Did I say that out loud?"

Yunho nods twice. After a couple of seconds of looking adorably bewildered, his eyes take on a darker shade and his gaze becomes painfully intense. He puts his right hand on the little of Changmin's back and jerks him closer.

"Take my left hand with your right, like this. Then, your left hand on my right shoulder, that's right." What comes out of his mouth sounds more like a purr than proper words.

Changmin carefully follows Yunho's orders, frowning in concentration and unaware of the tip of his tongue peeking out. When a chuckle reaches his ears, his eyes shift over to Yunho's amused face.

"You look cute, Changminnie."

 

\------------------

 

They dance for three hours and a half, occasionally taking breathing breaks, coffee breaks and even chatting breaks.

By the end of the afternoon, Changmin has learned the basic arm position and the basic steps of salsa.

The initial awkwardness had soon wore off as they had started moving in partial sync, Changmin being a bit uncoordinated and Yunho being _extra nice_ and patient.

They had complimented one another on their respective learning abilities and dancing skills, each of them humbly brushing off the kind words.

Yunho had talked about his family and how he decided to take on two summer jobs to help pay for his sister's college. With his mother being a housewife and his father working as a simple accountant, they could use all the money they could get. He himself had graduated from college the year before, but still couldn't find a permanent job.

Changmin had countered that his parents were both doctors and way too keen on him to follow in their steps. Afraid to disappoint them, he had unhappily enrolled in medical school. Despite his top grades, he hated it.

"What did you graduate in?"

"Political science. Originally, I wanted to become a diplomat."

"Well, that's unexpected from a dance instructor!"

"Whatever, Doctor!"

They both laughed at each other and just kept on practicing. In the end, it became clear that their mutual love for dancing had done nothing but keep them from facing reality. Changmin didn't really see himself as a doctor, just as much as Yunho didn't see a future in diplomacy.

"Well, the first step is acknowledgement, isn't it?"

Changmin had nodded thoughtfully at Yunho's words. Now, at almost six o'clock, those same words are still fluttering around in his mind.

He takes off the red shirt and puts it on the rocking chair, at the same time reaching for his own shirt on the table.

"Here are the videotapes I was talking about yesterday."

Yunho places the plastic bag at Changmin's feet.

"Thank you. I'll practice."

"Yeah… Just know that you can watch the live version anytime!"

The intonation, timing and overall feel of the sentence makes the smile on Changmin's face change into a full blown grin.

_You're so lame._

"What are you grinning at? I'm serious! Aren't you coming over tonight?"

Yunho moves closer. Changmin’s grin subsides.

"The show is in a week. We have to practice as much as possible. Together."

Changmin nods deeply in response. He takes the plastic bag and walks over to the door, leaving Yunho stand in the middle of the room by himself.

He likes this new dynamic, devoid of any awkwardness or embarrassment. Thankful for the enlightening afternoon, he waves cutely at Yunho.

"See you later, ambassador."


	6. Chapter 6

Changmin doesn't talk to his mother for a week. He doesn't even get up for breakfast.

Every afternoon he diligently climbs up to Yunho's cabin and they dance until they run out of breath, every night he sneaks out and meets him either at the cabin or at the gathering. He doesn't say where he goes, she doesn't ask.

The first couple of days are all about the basics. Yunho explains him how both dancers have their own space and how it's forbidden to invade it with either arms or legs, tells him about all the different figures and teaches him the easier ones.

Resting does wonders for Junsu, as he slowly but steadily recovers from exhaustion. The boys playfully tease him about the fact that it's really Yoochun's loving care doing the trick.

As for Jaejoong, he seems back to his carefree and merry self, declaring that he's okay with moving and that he will definitely write and keep in contact with every single one of them, but both Changmin and Yoochun don't fail to notice his lifeless eyes as he goes on about it.

It becomes an habit for the three of them to grab a drink on Jaejoong's break after lunch. The routine is always the same: Jaejoong hiding in Changmin's garden and scaring the shit out of him by making inhuman noises or jumping out at the most inappropriate times.

"One of these days, I swear…"

"Oh come on! You should be expecting me by now!"

The next day, Changmin expects him with a water gun in his hands. He then smirks smugly at Yoochun when he questions Jaejoong about his drenched hair and clothes.

The tiny, fragile man doesn't nag him about who he likes anymore, which pleases Changmin infinitely because he's at a point where he's not too sure he could hide it as well as he did at the beginning.

He tries very hard not to look too adoringly at Yunho whenever they are all together, but sometimes he feels Yoochun's leg nudging his own underneath the table and realizes he's been staring the whole time. He then coughs lightly in embarrassment and averts his eyes from Yunho's cute mole, praying that Jaejoong is really as dense as he seems.

Spending every day with Yunho, talking and laughing with him, exchanging thoughts and advices, makes Changmin develop an even bigger crush that threatens to grow into something deeper by the minute. Yunho's behaviour doesn't help either.

On the fourth day, he lets Changmin in with a creepy smile that reminds the younger boy of the one Jaejoong wears every single time he's up to no good.

"Today I don't feel like dancing. I didn't have time for lunch, so now I'm pretty hungry and in desperate need for fresh air. Care to join me, doc?"

He pulls out a picnic basket from behind the bed. That creepy smile still on his face paired up with the jubilant look in his eyes makes him look like a manic two-year-old and sends Changmin into a fit of giggles.

"I'll take that as a yes…?"

Yunho giggles as well, half frowning in amazement at Changmin's reaction.

In between wheezes, the younger boy nods.

"Just… Wow, give me a second. What… How did you even come up with this?"

Yunho pretends to looks offended. He puts down the basket and places a hand on his hip, assuming the typical stance of someone who's ready to bicker. He bites his upper lip, fighting not to laugh.

"What, I can't arrange a nice picnic for my favourite person in the whole world?"

Changmin's giggling comes to an abrupt end. Flustered and wide eyed, he thinks he catches a glimpse of honest fondness in Yunho's gaze.

Seizing the moment, the latter leaps forward and with a single, graceful movement, scoops up the basket, grabs Changmin's hand and kicks the door open.

"Let's just go, you giant ball of adorableness."

  
\------------------

  
Half an hour later they are sitting on the grass beneath a weeping willow, in a peaceful clearing just outside the resort.

Yunho opens the basket to reveal a nicely packed lunch for two, consisting of assorted sandwiches, chicken wings, a selection of cheeses, a potato salad, a fruit salad and a bunch of chocolate chip cookies.

Upon further inspection, Changmin realizes how large the servings are and concludes that a third person must be joining them. His dismay doesn't go unnoticed.

"What's wrong, Changminnie? Is there something you don't like?"

"No, it's just…"

He shrugs, unwilling to sound whiny and childish. Yunho prods him to go on with concerned eyes.

"…Isn't this a bit too much for two?"

Unexpectedly, a hint of pink appears on Yunho's cheeks. A shy smile quickly follows.

"Well I… Thing is, I don't really know how to cook. I had to ask for professional help on this one."

He lowers his head, either to focus on trying to pry open the sandwich container or to avoid Changmin's eyes. Maybe both.

"And I didn't want you to leave hungry, so… Is this really too much?"

His gaze bounces up all of a sudden, as Changmin takes the container from his hands and opens it easily. Upon handing it back to him, he smiles softly despite the strange feeling nestled in his gut.

"Nah, it's okay. I'm pretty hungry."

A sigh of relief leaves Yunho's mouth.

"Thank God… You know, I just wanted this to be perfect and special for us."

The last part is almost a whisper. Changmin praises the heavens too, but just because he's sitting down instead of standing up and risking to fall flat on his face due to shaky knees.

Two seconds later he finds himself questioning his hearing though, as Yunho doesn't seem fazed by what just came out of his mouth.

The older man runs a hand through his thick, auburn hair, as he brings a turkey and pickle sandwich up to his nose.

"As expected, Jaejoong is really the best at this!"

_Oh, fuck._

  
\------------------

  
Changmin tries frantically to avoid Jaejoong, but luck isn't by his side because he happens to meet him just a few hours later, on his way back from Yunho's cabin after late night practice. Running away or hiding are both out of the question, so he just accepts his fate and waves at him.

Jaejoong is walking alone, surely about to go back to his cabin after having been at the gathering.

He looks stunned for a split second, the cigarette between his lips almost falling off, then it's like he has an epiphany.

He trots over to Changmin, eyes alight in the darkness and an all-knowing sneer imprinted on his face.

"First, I hate you so much. Second, we have to talk like right now. Third, you'll be buying me drinks for the rest of your stay. At least until I pass out."

  
\------------------

  
They end up on Jaejoong's porch with a bottle of whisky. Changmin kind of hates the bitter and strong taste that lingers in his mouth, but doesn't say anything. He glances over at Jaejoong, thinking about his tidy room and how it clashes with Yunho's. The shorter man sitting beside him lights another cigarette. He puffs out some smoke from his nose and scoffs at Changmin.

"You absolute bitch! Getting lucky like that, behind my back, without even telling me!"

"Listen, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to get this way, I just thought it was a stupid crush but then somehow I ended up _really_ liking him, like a lot, and it didn't feel stupid anymore. I know you've asked me about it a lot of times, but I-"

"That's right! I asked you so many times, but you never said anything! I have to hear it from him, 'Jaejoongie I need your help, can you please whip up a nice lunch for me and Changminnie since we're having a picnic?'… God I wanted to smack him so bad!"

He nudges a space between the butts in the ashtray with his cigarette and puts it out, then reaches for the bottle and drinks directly from it.

"You really hurt me, Changmin. I thought we were friends. I thought we clicked, you know? I thought…"

Words die in his throat as he gulps down some more whisky. He looks on the verge of tears and Changmin is seriously worried about him.

"I think you should stop drinking, it's not doing you any good…"

"Fuck you! Being alone doesn't do me any good! I'll be gone in a month and I'll never see you guys again, how do you think it feels? I always put up a smile but I feel like dying inside… I don't expect you to understand of course, you're all busy being lovey-dovey with that other asshole!"

Changmin tries to ignore the bitterness, positive it's the alcohol talking. He takes a deep breath and it feels like diving into the deepest ocean.

"I've been alone all my life, up until this summer. I already told you about my parents ignoring me. I haven't had a friend since kindergarten and I used to think it was because I was too shy, too strange, too different. That's why I couldn't believe it when I met you guys that you were willing to be friends with me. I didn't want to come between you in any way, so I just stepped back and bottled everything up, until Yunho asked me to help him out. I wondered about the meaning of friendship after seeing you cry, and I finally came to understand it. I might not be experienced in this field, but I assure you I will do whatever I can and whatever it takes for you to feel loved and cared about. Let me repay you for your friendship…"

A storm of emotions crosses Jaejoong's weary face. Tears run down his cheeks as he shuts his eyes tight, struggling not to sob. Changmin moves closer and envelopes him in a long, warm hug, gently patting his back in comfort.

  
\------------------

  
He lays in his bed, fully awake as usual.

He had managed to soothe Jaejoong with the help of honey chamomile tea and lots of snuggling, until he was lulled to sleep. Only then, Changmin had quietly left.

And now there's a new, weird sensation in his chest. He tries to analyze it, hating the thought of being unable to control and name his feelings.

It's like the hug he exchanged with Jaejoong had opened a little window in his heart. Not knowing how to close it drives him mad. He thinks about Yunho, about those words he had whispered.

_"You know, I just wanted this to be perfect and special for us."_

_Us._

The little window creaks a bit.

  
\------------------

  
The trip is fuzzy in his mind. He remembers running, no, dashing down a path he knows too well. He's not sure of what he's wearing, unaware of the time, careless of the consequences.

He comes to his senses after having banged on the wooden door.

_What…_

Before he can register anything, Yunho is standing right before him. Judging by the time it takes him to open the door, he must have been awake too. He's not wearing anything apart from black boxer briefs.

"Changminnie? What's wrong?"

"I…"

_God, I have to stop staring._

"I think… I might- I like you."

Throat dry and practically gagging on his heart, Changmin remembers he's wearing his favourite Star Wars boxers and a green shirt that's at least two sizes too big. Yet, he doesn't feel out of place. The familiar flames in Yunho's eyes make him feel safe. And wanted.

"… I love you."

Slowly, Yunho's eyelids flutter close. He takes Changmin's right hand and puts it on his chest, holding it there and simultaneously pulling him inside the room.

Changmin closes the door behind him and instead of simply resting his hand against Yunho's skin, he digs his nails into it, as to carve his heart out.

Yunho opens his eyes and lets them wander around the gorgeous face in front of him for a bit. He looks down at his chest and then back up into Changmin's big, round eyes.

"Yours."


	7. Chapter 7

Kiss after kiss, chaste and innocent pecks turning into more passionate and demanding ones, a certain feeling starts building up in Changmin's stomach. He tries to ignore it a couple of times, determined to let it fade away, but it doesn't really work like that.

"Changminnie…? Do you want me to stop?"

Yunho mumbles it into his mouth at first. When he doesn't get an answer, he breaks the kiss and casts an affectionate gaze on Changmin. A bashful nod is all he gets in response.

"It's okay. You wanna get some sleep?"

Another nod, as a pair of large eyes stare back at him with a mixture of fear, arousal and shame in them.

A couple of minutes later, they are settled underneath the sheets. Even though the queen size bed is large enough for the both of them to sleep comfortably on their respective sides, they end up curled around each other on Yunho's side.

Changmin whispers _sorry_ in Yunho's left ear before nestling snugly against his chest and dozing off into oblivion, barely hearing the _it's alright baby, just close your eyes now_ the older man whispers back.

Lulled by the scent of strawberry, coffee and wood that lingers in the room, tight in Yunho's embrace, Changmin sleeps like a baby that night.

 

\------------------

 

When morning breaks, Changmin opens his eyes to a note on the pillow. Trying his best to start up his brain and untangle himself from the pile of sweaty sheets, cursing the summer in the process, he blinks a few time to focus.

The note is plastered with words. The handwriting is messy and pointy, heavy pressure strokes cutting through the paper.

_Changminnie, since I'm going to work I have to get up early! Ah, it's such a bummer that we can't have breakfast together! There might be some leftover coffee, you can reheat it if you want. I also have a couple of chocolate bars somewhere. Apart from that I'm afraid my room is a bit lacking in food options! Sorry about that. You can lounge around if you feel like it, I'll be back at 11. See you later baby. Yours, Yunho~_

Wondering if he's really awake or just dreaming a really good dream, Changmin gets up and collects his green shirt from the rocking chair. Instead of wearing it, he folds it neatly and places it on the table.

He opens the windows to let in the relatively fresh morning air, then peeks inside Yunho's wardrobe. He chooses a pair of denim knee-high shorts and a simple white shirt, the only things that fit him.

Once he's dressed and the bed is diligently made, he takes the note and stuffs it in his pocket with a smile. A quick trip to the bathroom and he's ready to leave. Before allowing himself to live that really good dream and fully enjoy the unexpected development of the situation with Yunho, there are a few things he needs to take care of.

 

\------------------

 

"Good morning."

Changmin reaches his family's table and takes the seat right in front of his mother. He was almost sure they were going to be there, he didn't even bother to stop by the apartment.

He notices with a frown that his father isn't reading the usual financial newspaper and his mother is not wearing her pearls. Her blouse looks slightly wrinkled too. If Changmin didn't know better, he would think they look _worried_.

Brushing aside the thought, he takes a slice of bread and starts buttering it up, quietly waiting for the bomb to drop.

"Son, where in the hell have you been all night? It's a girl, isn't it? It must be. You haven't talked to us for a week, continuously sneaking out, it's not who you are. You have to stop seeing her."

"What were you thinking, honey? We've been so worried! We looked for you everywhere, we were this close to calling the police!"

He has to use every inch of willpower to fight off the urge to roll his eyes, deeming it inappropriate as he is about trying to make them understand his point. It might not be the best way to tell them, over breakfast and in a room full of people, but what the hell, he thinks. Might as well get this over with.

"Mom, dad, I will be performing a dance number at the end of season revue. You think I have been sneaking out to see a girl, but in reality I have been practicing hard for the show. I know you hate the idea of me dancing, but if you feel even just a little bit of love for your only son, I pray you will find it in your hearts to accept me as I am. Until then, don't bother to pretend you care."

He doesn't even leave them time to process what he said. Taking a bite of his buttered up slice of bread and grabbing a couple of mini croissants, he gets up from the table.

Upon catching his mother's gaze, he wears a blank look, lips tight in a line. Still chewing, he lowers his voice and talks slowly, stressing every word.

"I'm gay, mom. And proud of it."

"Changmin…"

The name coming out of his mother's mouth sounds more like a whimper. She's shaking in her seat, pale as a corpse.

Changmin swallows the bite and shakes his head, sadness replacing the pride in his eyes.

"I'm tired of hiding myself."

 

\------------------

 

"Well, that definitely took some guts. Props to you, my friend."

Yoochun raises his glass to Changmin. It's Jaejoong's break after lunch and the boys all got together for a drink to celebrate Junsu's full recovery.

Changmin takes the chance to carry out a little speech to inform the others about what had happened that morning with his parents. He gets lots of praises and pats on the back and glass-raising, topped by Yunho mouthing an _you're amazing_ , eyes all crinkled as a huge smile crosses his face.

He had thought about letting them know about him and Yunho as well, but it turns out that Jaejoong had already provided the news. Junsu and Yoochun congratulate him with smug grins and let out a joyous _finally_. They point out the deep shade of red covering Changmin's round and puffy cheeks, to which Jaejoong jokes that _it must be the alcohol taking its toll_ , before pulling the younger boy into an affectionate hug.

"There's nothing to be ashamed of! Love is a beautiful thing, either if it's just one day or a hundred years old! Cheers!"

Yoochun playfully hits Junsu's arm, startled by the sudden burst of vitality. The touch transforms into hand holding as they exchange quick pecks on the lips in between smiles.

Changmin feels his heart flutter at the sight, the little window from the previous night creaking open. His mind wanders back to the late morning and lunch break spent with Yunho, giggling and whispering sweet nothings in each other's ears while nibbling on chocolate bars and mini croissants. He smiles at the thought of the blatant appreciation and desire in Yunho's eyes as he had walked in on him lying lazily on his bed, wearing his clothes.

Chest warming up, he brushes Yunho's thigh with his fingertips underneath the table, eliciting a shiver from him. Just like that, Yunho kisses him.

The other couple cheers, Yunho's heartbeat increases, his cheeks keep on getting flushed and the little window shuts close.

Meanwhile, Jaejoong emits embarrassing noises as he pretends to make out with his beer.

 

\------------------

 

Changmin returns to the apartment at three o'clock to find his mother sitting on the sofa, still wearing the same outfit she was wearing at breakfast.

That same woman who always bugs him about changing clothes more often during the day has been wearing the same shirt for more than a couple of hours.

Strangely fazed by this fact, he stops in his tracks. Since Yunho was going to be busy with an employee meeting that afternoon, Changmin had originally decided to close himself up in his room, at least until dinner time, to practice on his own.

The sight of his mother makes him change his mind and sit down beside her. A good five minutes pass before she opens her mouth.

"I am such a terrible mother."

Changmin shifts position to face her, brows furrowed in a questioning expression. She almost appears to be talking to herself.

"I should have been more present and attentive. Your father too, but as a mother I have more responsibility… What a failure. I can't believe I never noticed it."

A single tear escapes her heavy made-up eyes. Changmin feels his stomach turn, instantly regretting the decision to stop and sit down on that uncomfortable leather sofa.

"Don't blame yourself. It's nobody's fault that I am gay… It's just the way I am."

He waits for his mother to reply, but unspoken words and more tears are all she gives him. Just as he's about to get up and leave, she leans into him and wraps her arms around his shoulders. Changmin is taken aback by the sudden display of affection, realizing that it's the first time he gets a proper hug from his mother. He thinks about the amount of human touch he has been getting for the past two weeks, marveling at how it makes him feel _alive_.

"My baby… Just give us some time…"

Again, it's nothing more than a whimper. He strokes his mother's graying hair, letting his chin rest on top of her head.

 

\------------------

 

The rest of the afternoon goes by calmly. His father invites him on the golf green for the first time and tries to teach him the basics, but his son's clumsiness quickly discourages him from the task. Changmin suspects that he has been coerced into it by his mother, in a particularly awkward attempt at making the two of them bond over something. Ignoring his father's stiff stance and forced smile, he excuses himself back inside after twenty minutes. It's when his mother greets him with a little wave of her bejeweled hand that he almost cusses out loud, creeped out by the sudden and obviously contrived attention.

After an even more awkward dinner at Changmin's favourite restaurant of the resort, his parents ask him if he feels like joining them for ice cream and then maybe a movie. He declines politely, telling them that he has a late practice scheduled. A dark shadow clouds his father's face as he parts his lips to speak, but his mother is faster.

"Right… We'll be on our way then. Don't be late, love."

She clutches her husband's arm, shooting him a meaningful look. Changmin doesn't bother telling her he won't be spending the night in his room.

 

\------------------

 

He sits on the cabin's steps, waiting patiently for Yunho to arrive.

His mind keeps on analyzing the events that had occurred just a few hours earlier. He comes to the conclusion that his parents are shamelessly trying to manipulate him into giving up on the number and possibly revert to straightness. The warmth he had felt in his mother's embrace had clouded his judgement and had prevented him from understanding the true purpose of her actions. There is no other explanation for their weird behaviour, Changmin is positive. They have never been so considerate before, not even once in over twenty years.

As he lets the bitterness sink in, Yunho appears in the distance. He's about to run over to him, pleasantly surprised by his being early, but he quickly slows down.

Something's not right.

Yunho is stomping towards the cabin, duffel bag thrown over his shoulder. As soon as he's near enough for his face to become clear, Changmin feels his blood freeze. He looks _enraged_.

"Changminnie, you're early, baby."

Trying hard to dissimulate the anger, he produces a smile and lands a quick kiss on Changmin's lips.

"Yunho..."

No answer. He follows him inside, suddenly remembering that he didn't bring back the clothes he had borrowed in the morning. He had showered before dinner and left them on his bed. Making a mental note to return them the next day, he reaches for Yunho's hand, prompting him to turn around and face him.

"Yunho, what happened?"

The older man clenches his jaw, eyes closed in an attempt to calm himself. His weary grimace quickly turns into a bitter laugh.

"Ah… The director just fired me. That homophobic piece of shit told me to shove the number up my ass together with all my stuff and leave first thing in the morning."


	8. Chapter 8

Changmin wishes Yunho had some of Jaejoong's honey chamomile tea in his cabinet. He only finds coffee and extra strong gunpowder tea, which aren't exactly calming brews. He leans with his back to the wall beside the stove and glances over at the man that's walking frantically in circles in front of his eyes.

"Won't you sit down and tell me what happened? Then we can work on finding a solution. Please."

It comes out a bit more desperate than he had intended to, but he doesn't care. Yunho looks at him for a brief moment then plops down on the bed. He passes a hand through his hair and fixes his stare on the ground.

"He called me to his office after the employee meeting. To think I had already told him beforehand what it was I wanted to do, I mean, he knew it was going to be a queer dance number, yet he waited until today to complain about it and forbid me to perform!"

"But why fire you? He could have just told you to choose another number."

"I guess we'll never know. I didn't ask."

"What do you mean you didn't ask? Don't you know you can file a lawsuit on discrimination grounds? He can't just lay you off because of that and get away with it!"

"Calm down, I-"

"I am calm! I just don't get it. How can you accept this with such resignation?"

"Don't go around judging people and thinking justice applies to everybody. You're rich and you have no idea how things go in my world. Can you pay for my lawsuit? Then I'll file it."

Changmin blames Yunho's harsh words on his anger. He knows he doesn't really mean them, but it's no use pretending they don't hurt like hell. He crosses his arms defensively, letting out a mocking laugh in a surge of pride and defiance, fully aware of the fact he will be regretting it later.

"Of course I have no idea. I live in a crystal ball, remember? Get real, Yunho. It doesn't take money to know right from wrong."

Yunho shoots him a sorrowful glance before getting up and taking those few steps that close the distance between them. Changmin can see it in his eyes that he's restraining himself from hugging him tight.

"I'm sorry. Let's just stop, before we hurt each other."

Changmin's boldness quickly fades away, just like his voice.

"What do you mean?"

Yunho's struggle is clear, yet he endures it.

"I had a great time, but now we have to go our separate ways."

He quickly moves to the wardrobe, mumbling about how he's going to leave early in the morning and how long it's going to take him to pack his things up.

The last trace of pride seeps out of Changmin as he staggers over to his lover and envelopes him in his arms from behind.

"Don't say that. Don't. I'll go to my dad, he's friends with the director. I'll go to him, I'll beg him to-"

Yunho gently removes Changmin's arms from around his chest and turns around to face him, holding his hands tight. He closes his eyes and shakes his head, sighing heavily in anguish.

"There was a check. A big one."

"A check?"

"Yeah. He told me to consider it a generous tip… From the Shim family."

Changmin can feel his stomach turn upside down, vomit rising up. Yunho slowly nods.

"I know what you're feeling. I wasn't sure whether to tell you or not, but in the end I think you deserve to know. And no, I didn't take it."

It's like the ability to speak has escaped the younger man. He gasps a couple of times, looking all kinds of outraged. Yunho pulls him into a warm embrace, and that's when he comes undone.

In the back of his mind, he feels like Jaejoong. A messy ball of tears and grief being cuddled with love and tenderness.

"You… He fired you… Because of me. I..."

"Shh. Shh, hush now."

Changmin thinks about that 'we have to go our separate ways' and what ever happened to it. He decides against asking Yunho, settling into the embrace instead. He doesn't want to know. He wants to believe it can work between the two of them, and he wants that illusion to last a bit longer.

Eventually, the sobbing subsides. Yunho breaks the contact to briefly look into Changmin's eyes.

"Are you okay?"

"More or less."

A silence, heavy with meaning and edged with yearning, falls upon them. Changmin caresses Yunho's cheek with the back of his hand, wiping away some of his own tears that were still lingering on it. The older man responds by sucking in a breath and leaning into the touch. After a couple of instants, he kisses Changmin's fingertips as they brush over his mouth. When he's sure of what he sees in Yunho's pupils, Changmin whispers in his right ear.

"Make love to me."

 

\------------------

 

Changmin jerks up from the bed at around 4 am, an ominous feeling in his gut. He already knows what to expect, yet he checks the pillow. There it is. He switches the bedside lamp on. The familiar handwriting looks even messier than usual.

_I know how awful and shitty this looks, but it's not what you think. I didn't take advantage of you. I just have to leave now because I don't know if I can find it in me to walk out of the goddamn door without dragging you away with me. Especially after tonight. I don't want to leave you. I love you, Changmin. I love you so much, I love you in a way I didn't even think was possible. I wish I could say it to your gorgeous face. I'll whisper it in your ear instead, while you are sleeping here beside me. I love you._

Changmin looks at the last three words, at how they're heavily underlined. Frantically, he stumbles off the bed and crawls over to the wardrobe. It's empty. _You bastard. You heartless, selfish bastard._

He feels like he's slipping into madness. He gets dressed at record speed and rushes out of the cabin. A million thoughts fly through his mind, but only one lands. Helpless, he goes along with it.

 

\------------------

 

Twenty minutes later he reaches his destination. It's still an insane hour to be knocking on people's doors though, so he decides to take a stroll around. Suddenly, the front door opens to reveal a pretty girl whom Changmin recognizes to be one of the waitresses. She says something to the person still inside the room, then smiles and waves cutely. Changmin hides around the corner of the building and manages to stay out of sight as she leaves.

If he wasn't so heartbroken and upset, he might have smiled at the unexpected sight. He waits another five minutes before knocking. A disheveled Jaejoong opens the door.

"Changmin! You creature of the night… Is everything okay? You're looking kinda manic."

Those few words he had intended to say die in his throat. The shorter man gives him a confused look, then snaps his fingers and points at him.

"Ah! I know just what you need."

 

\------------------

 

Jaejoong offers him an early breakfast consisting of a piece of cheesecake and a steaming cup of the infamous honey chamomile tea. Changmin drums his fingers on the cup, hesitating before spilling it all out.

"You're not eating?"

"Not hungry. Anyway, that waitress… I thought you were…"

"Oh, shut up. I don't like labels. Let's talk about whatever it is that brought you here which, judging by your face, is going to be infinitely more interesting."

"I don't know where to start."

"How about from the beginning?"

A deep breath, and another, and a bite of cheesecake to sweeten everything up.

"Me and Yunho… we made love."

_Sweet Jesus I wasn't supposed to start with that._

"Well thank you very much for the news! You came here to tell me that?"

"No… I mean, that's part of what happened…"

A sympathethic smile blooms on Jaejoong's face as he puts a hand on Changmin's arm, signaling with his eyes that it's all good, he can take his time. The warm touch helps a lot and coherent words finally start forming in his mind.

"The director fired Yunho."

"Excuse me?"

As Changmin goes into details about their quasi-fight, the director's words and Mr. Shim's check, Jaejoong's delicate features turn into harsh, grim ones that make him look older by at least 10 years. When the younger man tells him about Yunho's sudden departure in the middle of the night, he slams his hands on the table and jumps up from the chair.

"Alright. Changmin, go take a nap. You still look manic and it's kind of scaring the shit out of me. I'll wake you up in a couple of hours and I'll tell you what we're going to do."

 

\------------------

 

At eight o'clock, a substantial group of workers marches through the resort, heading to the director's office. Jaejoong, Junsu and Yoochun are up front, leading the protest. Changmin watches from the side, as per Jaejoong's orders. He admires the man's passion and love for justice, but he's not too sure about the outcome of the act he's witnessing.

Jaejoong had woken him up earlier with blood injected eyes, babbling about class actions and the like. Yoochun and Junsu had quickly come over, just as equally worked up. Changmin had found the latter to be especially enraged, both by the director's homophobic remarks and by Yunho's lack of retort. It was his number too, before falling ill and having to be replaced by Changmin.

The three friends had gathered around the table to lay out a plan, each one of them offering his insight. After a brief discussion, they had informed Changmin of what they had come up with. Upon seeing a hint of uncertainty on his face, Jaejoong had landed a strong pat on his back.

"He will listen to us, trust me. If rumors start spreading out about how he treats his employees, the bad publicity the resort will get would be just the tip of the iceberg."

So here they are, about to step inside the office building. Yoochun halts the group just in front of the entrance, talks to a couple of workers then follows Jaejoong and Junsu up the staircase. Changmin knows they are about to demand Yunho's immediate reinstatement, threatening a full-on strike should the demand be refused. He desperately wants to believe they will succeed in convincing the director, yet he doesn't want to deceive himself and be left crushed by the harsh reality in case they won't be able to.

It takes them a good half an hour. When Junsu and Yoochun come out, hand in hand with their fists up in the air and a triumphant grin painted on their lips, Changmin feels hot, joyful tears well up in his eyes. Jaejoong is right behind them, and as the mob lets out a victorious roar, he snaps his fingers and points at him, in what had become his signature move. Before the other workers can pull him into a group hug, he manages to mouth a very clear _we made it_ at him.

 

\------------------

 

They all go back to the staff quarters to make a toast, but the impromptu party is short-lived because eventually everybody has to get back to work. Soon, it's just Changmin and Jaejoong in the cafeteria.

"Ah, this has been such a nice way to start the day! Don't you love some early morning union action?"

"Well I-"

"It was a rhetorical question, Minnie."

"Okay. Aren't you going to work?"

"It's my day off! Come on, let's call Yunho, we have to tell him before the director does! And then we'll get a nice beer."

"But it's almost nine in the morning…"

"And a piece of toast."

Jaejoong's expression brings a giggle to Changmin's lips, and in no time they're both laughing heartily at each other. When the hilarity comes to an end and their eyes meet, Changmin takes a deep breath and hugs him tightly.

"Thank you. Thank you so much. For everything."

Jaejoong responds with an equally tight squeeze, and after a moment he breaks contact to shove a hand down his pocket and fish out his phone. Changmin is left pondering about how he's going to confront his father and call him out on the horrible thing he did. Right when he's picturing a very heated conversation and making mental notes on what to say, Jaejoong taps on his shoulder. Phone pressed to his ear, he's frowning in worry.

"He's not picking up. He usually picks up after the third ring. Man, we don't even know where he's gone. He could be anywhere."

Changmin feels his heart sink.

"Jae… The show is tonight."

A look of horror dawns on the shorter man's face. Changmin tries to keep his cool and think straight, momentarily setting aside thoughts of his parents and the upcoming confrontation.

"Keep trying. I'll go take a look at the cabin, see if maybe he changed his mind."


	9. Chapter 9

Changmin approaches the cabin after a breathless run. He almost trips over the stairs, quickly grabbing the doorhandle for support. The door is unlocked. A tiny speck of hope in the back of his mind tells him that maybe Yunho is inside, making coffee for the both of them, and that he will turn around with that familiar warm smile on his face and look at him with eyes full of love and longing.

But he's not. Changmin clicks his tongue at himself, remembering that he simply hadn't locked it earlier that morning when he had stormed off to Jaejoong's. He gets inside and an overwhelming rush of nostalgia immediately washes over him. He inhales deeply, but that sweet scent of fresh strawberries coming from the fridge, strong coffee from the stove and dry wood from the walls has almost vanished, replaced by the appalling smell of misery and tears.

The window in Changmin's heart slams open and shut, banging and banging harder at every heartbeat, until it just breaks and all that is left is a big, ugly hole that lets all the cold in. There's no hugs, no kisses, no human touch that can mend that now.

Clutching his chest, he sits on Yunho's side of the bed. All he wants to do is lay down and cry himself to sleep, but right as he's about to do that, a thought pops up. A thought that sends blood rushing to his fists.

With a new resolution in mind, he gets up and strides to the door, only to be almost knocked down by its sudden opening from the other side.

"Who's there? May I come in?"

Jaejoong's head pops in. After many apologies upon seeing Changmin right behind the door, holding his arm in pain, he enters the room.

"Minnie, he's still not answering! I left a few voicemails just in case… I called the director, apparently he can't reach him as well. What are we going to do?"

Changmin tries very hard to come up with a plan for the upcoming show and simultaneously calm the frenzied man in front of him, but to no avail. He fights back those few tears that were welling up and shakes his head.

"There's nothing much we can do. I can't dance alone, and it's impossible for me to teach anybody…"

"We can ask Junsu! He's recovered alright, he might be able to take Yunho's place! He knows the dance already, so it's like ten times easier! Isn't it?"

Jaejoong's sudden burst of optimism hits Changmin in the face. Before he can think about anything, about this new development, about the lack of intimacy he has with Junsu, about the lack of _Yunho_ , the other man is already pulling out his phone and dialling the number.

A couple of minutes later, it's all set. Changmin will be dancing with Junsu and he's expected in the rehearsal room for a brief recap in half an hour.

"I think this is a great idea. This way, Yunho's dream can come true even without him present! Don't you think?"

Jaejoong pats Changmin on the back, unaware of the inner turmoil that's shaking the younger man.

All the _it's not the same_ , _I can't_ , _I will fail miserably_ pile up on his tongue, ready to fly out of his mouth at the first occasion. As usual, though, he doesn't want to disappoint or hurt Jaejoong, so he just nods.

"Right… Don't worry, I'll be there to record every single moment with my precious camera, we'll show it to Yunho as soon as we find him! Ah, to think that it will all be over in a month… And I'll be moving away with my parents, the joy of it all..."

"In a month…? What do you mean?"

"Well, after the end of season revue there's just a month and then the resort closes down for the winter. Most of the guests leave the day after the show anyway, it kinda marks the end of the holiday, you know what I'm saying?"

That thought comes again. Instead of rushing to his fists, blood now goes straight to his eyes, making his vision red.

"I have to take care of something right now. I should be done in time for the recap."

Jaejoong squeezes his arm in understanding.

"Don't worry, I'll inform Junsu. Go."

 

\------------------

 

"When are we leaving?"

Changmin calmly enters the living room, determined to win the argument without making a scene despite the rage surging in his chest. His father raises his eyes from the newspaper and looks at the tall boy that has just stopped in front of him. His mother is painting her nails on the sofa, the slight tremor in her hands betraying her otherwise unfazed stance.

"Tomorrow. By the way, it wouldn't be a bad idea to start packing up. Don't you think, honey? God only knows the amount of clothing you brought!"

"Ah, you're right darling! Changmin, come give me a hand. I'll help you with your things later."

Changmin blatantly ignores his mother, not moving an inch from where he's standing.

"I'm not coming."

She gets up and gingerly puts a hand on his forearm, while the ugliest and most contrived smile Changmin has ever seen unfolds on her pale face.

"Well it's okay, you can help me later! We didn't bring that much after all..."

"I meant I'm not coming home tomorrow."

Changmin braces himself. The more he thinks about what his father did to Yunho, and ultimately to him, the more he feels outraged. He's more than ready to fight his way out of the family.

His father looks just as prepared as he stands up from the chair, jaw clenching tightly and a brilliant shade of red lighting up his entire face.

"You'll be sitting in the goddamn car tomorrow morning, even if I have to strap you to it."

"Says who? The man who thinks he can buy people off just because he's filthy rich?"

He spits it out angrily, like if the words rolling out of his tongue were pure fire. His mother lets out a little yelp before falling back on the sofa. She shakes his head at him while her husband rolls up the newspaper and smacks it on the table.

"So it was true! You have been seeing that waiter! I swear to-"

"Yes I have! And you can shove that check up your ass because he has been reinstated! I suggest you both hole up here tonight because your gay son will be dancing in front of everybody. Wouldn't want you losing your shit at the sight."

To hell with not making a scene. As his parents are both left speechless and shocked, he seizes the moment to rant on about their narrow-mindedness, their total lack of understanding and compassion, their manipulative behaviour and their shameless superiority. It's a solid wall of words that Changmin builds around himself to keep them from getting close.

"As I already told you, don't bother to pretend you care about me. I'll drop by home some day to collect my things. As for school, I've decided to drop out. I'll take on weird jobs, I don't care, I just want to be free to do what I want to do. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll go pack."

"Changmin, wait, we can talk this out! Me and your father, we just-"

A loud slam of Changmin's bedroom door echoes through the apartment. Mrs. Shim gapes at his husband, who in turn sinks down on the sofa with a defeated look on his face.

 

\------------------

 

Changmin mentally congratulates himself as he stuffs clothes into his suitcase, purposely careless of the crinkles and wrinkles. Every breath he takes is like fresh water for a thirsty man. He almost forgets about Yunho for a second, but the hole in his heart mercilessly reminds him of what he lacks and prompts him to stop in his tracks.

Then, it's as if an icy gust of wind passes through him, leaving a dreadful emptiness behind. Just as he's about to pinpoint the exact reason for this feeling, a brisk rustling comes from the garden outside his balcony. Startled and quasi-alarmed, he locks his bedroom door and peeks out the french window.

"Oi! It's me!"

Changmin frowns at the sight of Jaejoong climbing up from the garden. After an elegant and apparently effortless jump, he lands straight in front of him.

"What are you doing? Just wait outside, I don't want anybody else to get fired because of me!"

"Wait, you're not gonna believe this… I couldn't wait to tell you!"

Now fully alarmed, mainly at his friend's restless expression, Changmin pushes the both of them outside on the balcony and closes the french window behind him.

"What happened?"

"Ah, Changmin… What to do…"

"Come on, spit it out!"

"It's Junsu… He sprained his ankle on his way to the rehearsal room!"

Changmin is honestly surprised at the mixture of emotions that stir up within him. He's not sure whether to feel relieved or disappointed. He really wanted to dance, but at the same time he didn't. In a way, it felt like betraying Yunho.

He leans back on the railing as Jaejoong mutters something along the lines of _that unlucky kid will be the death of me_. Despite the morning humidity and the sun scorching his back, that damn chill takes hold of him again. Soon enough, it turns into a full blown panic attack.

"It's over. I just told my parents I'm not going home… What was I thinking? I don't even have a place to go. And Yunho... Yunho, he's-"

Before he can place his shaking hands in his hair, Jaejoong grabs them forcefully.

"Don't be stupid. They treated you like shit. They stepped on you."

His stare intensifies in an attempt to get his point across. Changmin loses himself in those big, glossy eyes.

"They tried to change you, Changmin. You did well. Now, finding a place to stay is the last of your problems. Here is what we'll do: you finish packing, I'll go around and meet you at the front door. We'll find a way out over a nice cup of you know what. Come on."

He lets go of his hands and pulls him into a snug embrace, stroking his back a couple of times before patting it in encouragement. Changmin murmurs a _thank you_ into his shoulder, feeling comfortably helpless for the first time in his life.

 

\------------------

 

Wishing he could just jump down the balcony instead of crossing the living room, Changmin proceeds to close the suitcase and step out of his room. A muffled cry comes from his parents' bedroom. He stops by the door to get a closer listen, just to let out a heavy sigh upon recognizing his mother distinctive way of crying.

With great willpower, he manages to move past and get to the living room where his father is watching his favourite news channel. If Changmin cared enough to check, he would notice the unmoving eyes and vacuum stare. Instead, he keeps on towing the big suitcase behind him without looking back.

"If you go through that door, you are finished with this family. Don't you dare come back."

Still not looking at his father, Changmin straightens up and keeps on walking toward the front door. As he gets hold of the doorhandle, tears start stinging in his eyes. He hastily fights them back before turning around and shooting a somber look at the man still staring at the television screen.

"Farewell, father."


	10. Chapter 10

Changmin stops for a moment on the terrace. He's determined to keep the tears at bay by mentally repeating to himself that his parents don't deserve a single one of them. They don't deserve anything. Most surely, they don't even deserve him. Yet, he can't deny the overwhelming heartbreak that comes with the realization.

_Is it so bad to wish for a little affection and understanding? From your own parents?_

He shakes his head once in a sad attempt at shooing the thought away, somewhat loathing this side of himself. He focuses on the pebbly walkway that leads down the terrace to the garden, admiring the round shape and perfect smoothness of every single little stone. At the end of the path, Jaejoong leans against the white fence with a yellow hibiscus in his hands. Upon seeing Changmin, he raises the flower and waves at him, that particular semi-creepy, full on grin of his clearly visible even in the distance.

"Minnie, I'm here!"

Instantly revitalized at the sight, Changmin can almost feel the burden dropping off his chest. He walks towards Jaejoong and lets himself be healed by his contagious smile, woeful thoughts crumbling away as the suitcase rolls loudly on the pebbles. When he reaches the fence, Jaejoong squints and looks him up and down. He purses his full lips in pretend concentration, then outstretches a hand to place the hibiscus behind Changmin's left ear.

"Pretty."

He announces it so solemnly that Changmin can't contain a chuckle. Feeling inspired by his friend's playful attitude, he reaches over to the hibiscus bush and picks a red one, then proceeds to shove it behind Jaejoong's right ear.

"There. Now we both are."

Jaejoong gapes in delight and starts hopping away, looking like a hybrid between a nymph and a psycho. Highly amused by the spectacle, Changmin goes after him. A gust of warm, summer wind caresses his cheek and fills his nose with the smell of previously uknown freedom, making him dizzy with anticipation. He thinks that maybe, just maybe, he made the right decision after all.

 

\------------------

 

Careless of the guests and workers of the resort staring at the flowers in their hair, some of them even giggling quietly about it, they walk up to Jaejoong's cabin. Along the way, Changmin teases him about how the cigarette he's smoking clashes with the red hibiscus he's sporting, only to cough his lungs out two seconds later when Jaejoong responds by puffing smoke directly in his face.

After a few pushes and a few shoves, some a bit rougher than others, they arrive at the staff housing. Jaejoong's cream painted cabin is not too far from the cafeteria, and Changmin finds himself thinking about the old, brown cabin in the proximity of the dance rehearsal room. He thinks about how it smelled of coffee, strawberry and wood, and how empty and abandoned it must look in that exact moment.

Jaejoong unlocks his front door and clears his throat to catch Changmin's attention, effectively snapping him out of his little world made of memories and longing.

"How about a second breakfast? Something delicious enough to make you stop pondering and pining."

"Sounds good."

 

\------------------

 

Jaejoong is about to dig his teeth in a piece of blueberry french toast when his phone rings loudly from inside his pocket. He stares at Changmin, his loaded fork suspended in the air between plate and mouth. The younger boy stares back, then almost chokes on the mouthful he was about to swallow. A tiny streak of blue drips from his lower lip.

Without missing a beat, Jaejoong puts down the fork and stuffs his hand into his pocket to get his phone, handing some napkins over to Changmin with his other hand in the process. He looks at the screen expectantly, only to frown sadly after having checked the caller ID. His expression drops and Changmin feels like dying.

"Hello?"

Jaejoong exchanges some words with the person on the other line, then hangs up. He finishes his french toast in a hurry, gulps down a glass full of milk and gets up from the table.

"I have to fill in for a coworker who was smart enough to cut almost half his finger off. Kids these days, I'm telling you."

"I guess it can happen..."

"Yeah right. Anyway, I won't be back until half past two at least, you can rummage in the fridge when it's lunchtime."

Changmin nods and gestures an okay, then looks down at his plate and plays with a plump blueberry by rolling it around in the melted butter.

"Minnie. Minnie, look at me."

He complies, mostly because Jaejoong sounds rather serious and possibly about to say something meaningful.

"He'll call. If I know him the way I think I do, he will. He probably just forgot his phone in his car."

Changmin decides to hold on tight to this assumption, innerly cringing at Yunho's forgetfulness and lack of focus. He's his exact opposite. He's everything he wishes not to be, yet at the same time everything he wishes to have.

"Chin up, pretty."

Jaejoong snaps his fingers and points at him, obtaining a shy smile in response. He grabs his duffel bag from the sofa and heads towards the door. Just before opening it, he turns back around and walks over to the table.

"Double pretty."

He removes the red hibiscus from his own hair and tucks it behind Changmin's other ear.

 

\------------------

 

With two flowers and an empty cabin, Changmin doesn't really know what to do.

He glances at his suitcase, suddenly remembering how it was his mother who had chosen it for him. _It's refined, spacious and look at the colour! So matching your handbag._ He springs up from the chair in a burst of revulsion, feeling like tearing it apart and setting it on fire. Instead, he opens it and pulls out Yunho's videotapes. In hope of calming himself, he pops one into Jaejoong's VCR. He's still holding on tight to the idea that Yunho will come back, so he thinks he might as well practice. The instructor in the tape is kind of good, but not as good as Yunho. Not as handsome as Yunho. Not _Yunho_.

Changmin's steps are uncertain and he has to start over again multiple times. He's not too sure he's ever been good. Despite knowing all the basic arm positions and basic steps, he just can't seem to find the right flow. Giving up is out of the question, so he keeps on wiggling around Jaejoong's living room.

Half an hour later, he sets his mind on another task. After having scribbled a note for Jaejoong and placed both flowers on the table beside it, he opens the fridge and quickly whips up two tuna and cream cheese sandwiches. He packs them together with an apple and a can of beer, then exits the cabin.

 

\------------------

 

The weeping willow offers just the right amount of shadow for Changmin to doze off after having eaten his snack. He closes his eyes, and images of Yunho praising Jaejoong's sandwich or moaning over a piece of cheese immediately flash in his mind. Yunho offering him a chocolate chip cookie. Yunho ogling a strawberry and telling him how it's his favourite fruit ever. Changmin feels all warm, just like he did that afternoon, and sleep washes over him soon enough.

By the time he wakes up, the shadow of the tree suggests it's been at least two hours. He rubs his eyes and stretches a bit before getting up and collecting the litter. He dumps it in the nearest waste bin, taking a moment to take in the luscious green landscape around him. That's when something stirs in his gut, prompting him to take a certain direction. He lets his stomach take the lead while feeding it a few bites of the apple from Jaejoong's fridge.

After a long stroll, the brown cabin in front of which he stops resembles home. It resembles home more than the luxurious apartment, more than his own home back in the city. He never felt more at ease and loved anywhere else.

The wooden staircase creaks pleasantly under his feet as he climbs it. Once inside, he turns on the stove and makes himself a nice, steaming hot cup of coffee. The fragrant aroma he missed so bad is finally back in the cabin. While sipping the energizing brew, he takes his time to properly analyze the room. Everything is gone. The pile of old records, the books on the bedside table, the clothes in the wardrobe and the ones scattered on the floor.

He thinks about how silent Yunho must have been to be able to carry out all his stuff without waking him up. It's clearly a miracle how he managed to not drop anything on his way out. Undecided whether to smile or pout, Changmin settles for a grimace.

He feels like a cocoon that's unable to hatch. Yunho kissed a hole in his hard coating, but he left too early, leaving him unsure of how to deal with it.

 

\------------------

 

The cup of coffee becomes three cups of coffee. The grimace turns into ugly crying. The thoughts blur into an unintelligible mush as Changmin falls asleep once again, on Yunho's side of the bed, drenching his pillow in tears. On the same bed where everything changed the night before. He doesn't know the time, he forgot what day it is, he couldn't care less about the revue. He just wants to sleep, because it's the only way he can meet Yunho.

Just as he's about to kiss him for the umpteenth time underneath the weeping willow, a loud, dull sound wakes him up abruptly. He jerks up from the pillow, looking around to identify the origin of the disturbance. Everything seems to be alright. Carefully, he gets off the bed and listen closely. Someone is cursing heatedly at the steps, and Changmin's blood stops flowing through his body upon hearing that voice. That low voice that sounds velvety yet commanding. Unable to move, he stands in the middle of the room, waiting.

When the door slowly opens to reveal a well-too-known gorgeous man, with his duffel bag thrown over his shoulder, a bloody knee and scraped palms, Changmin is positive he's about to faint.

"…Changminnie?"

It's the last thing he hears before blacking out completely.


	11. Chapter 11

At first it's a distant whisper. Changmin finds himself in a dreamlike haze, aware that he's awake but still woozy and not completely lucid. His head hurts like hell and he feels like floating. When his fingers brush against a soft surface, he realizes he's lying on the bed. The whisper gradually strengthens, becoming more and more definite and audible, and by the time he comes to his senses, he sees two chocolate brown, perfectly slanted eyes dancing around his face in a worried frenzy.

"Changminnie! Did you hurt-"

Yunho's breath hitches for a second as Changmin springs up and throws his arms around his neck, clinging on to him in an impossibly tight hug. Face buried in his shoulder, he appears set on not letting go anytime soon. The only thing Yunho can do is hug back, one hand carding through Changmin's thick hair and the other one slowly stroking his back.

The affectionate touch, Yunho's scent, the fact that he's back, Changmin takes it all in and it's like his world finally starts spinning in the right direction again. Inevitably, tears start falling quietly from his eyes. Unwilling to break contact, he muffles what he wants to say into Yunho's shirt.

"You owe me one hell of an explanation. Do you have any idea what I had to go through in the past few hours? I even became homeless."

Changmin can feel Yunho trying to pull out of the hug. He figures he's about to question him and maybe even berate him for what he did, so he resolves to stay still and stubbornly hold tighter. Yunho doesn't give up though, and after a brief struggle he manages to distance himself enough to look at his face.

"What do you mean homeless? Did your parents throw you out?"

Anger and concern burn in his gaze as he thumbs away a few tears from Changmin's cheeks. Feeling vulnerable and way too under pressure for his liking, Changmin lowers his eyes.

"No, they didn't. I left on my own accord. I basically spat on their money, informed them I was dropping out of school and all that…"

When he looks back up, the words of remorse he was about to say quickly stumble back down his throat. The concern in Yunho's eyes has changed into pride and admiration.

"That was such a brave thing to do. Don't regret it."

"…You're not going to scold me?"

"Why should I? You're old enough to make your own choices. Don't ever let anybody treat you like a child."

Changmin wonders if he's still dreaming. He asks himself if the blow to the head he took just minutes earlier while falling on the floor could have made him hard of hearing. The subject of his longing is there, in front of him, and instead of complaining about his impulsiveness, he's praising him for what he did. The desire to claim his small and plump lips swells up inside him, and right before he can play out his fantasy, Yunho cups his face and leans in for a long, slow, passionate kiss. He tastes like peppermint, a refreshing and crisp flavour that sends shivers down his spine.

When they pull away to catch their breath, Yunho keeps his eyes closed and rests his forehead against Changmin's, sighing in what sounds like relief.

"It's so good to be home."

 

\------------------

 

The two lovers don't care about anything in the world except how their limbs seem to magically fit together like a puzzle underneath the sheets. All that matters is how perfectly Changmin's head rests on Yunho's chest. There's nothing more important than how beautifully Yunho's arm curls around Changmin's waist.

"I'm still angry with you, you know."

Changmin traces tiny circles on Yunho's bare pecs with his fingertips. He waits for a reply that doesn't seem to be coming, so he shifts a bit to meet the older man's eyes. He's surprised to see him blushing and trying to avoid his look.

"I'm so ashamed for what I did. I don't even know where to start."

Yunho's voice is calm but there's a hint of sadness that makes Changmin shift again, this time to lie directly by his side and face him. He props himself up on one elbow and studies his small face with a thoughtful expression.

"You could have dragged me away with you. You should have."

"Yeah, that was my first thought… But then..."

Changmin catches the what ifs and the insecurities hidden behind unspoken words. He understands that it wasn't up to Yunho to decide and that he must have felt in a tight spot after what had happened between them.

After a brief assessment, a change of topic seems the best option at this point. He doesn't want him to feel insecure, not anymore. With this thought in mind, he gently grabs his face and meets his lips, lingering into the touch a bit more than usual. A hand presses on the back of his head, drawing him closer into the kiss.

"It's okay. You're here now, and I'm not going to let you go anywhere without me."

Changmin breathes it into Yunho's mouth, unable to pull away from the intoxicating spell he's under. He's sure Yunho has heard it, because all of a sudden his hands become demanding and greedy, touching and grabbing everywhere.

Before letting go completely, there's still something Changmin needs to know.

"Wait, wait…"

"What's wrong?"

"Where did you leave your phone all day?"

Yunho gapes at him in surprise. Still partially out of breath, he curls his lips in a sheepish smile.

"Dead battery. I couldn't bring myself to leave, so I kept driving in circles around this damned place, completely oblivious of the emergency charger in the glove compartment. I found it by chance and immediately plugged it in. That's when I saw the missed calls and heard all of those crazy ass voicemails!"

"…I honestly don't know what I expected."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, nothing."

Changmin kisses the pout away from Yunho's mouth and pulls the sheets up to their heads.

 

\------------------

 

The resort's convention hall is broad and bright in the late afternoon light. It's still early for the show, but the place already crawls with staff and everybody is engrossed in prepping the stage and the seating area.

No one notices or cares about Changmin wandering around. As he admires the synchronization and focus of three workers busy with the task of setting up a giant curtain, he spots Yunho beside the lighting equipment. Judging by the rapid and precise movements of his hands, he's instructing the technicians on how to light up the stage during the dance number.

Changmin trembles at the thought of Yunho guiding him into the spotlight and in front of hundreds of people. He tries to convince himself that everything will be fine, he just has to follow Yunho. Yunho will lead him. Yunho will take care of him.

He tiptoes over to where he's standing, smiling fondly at the passion and drive that transpire from the older man's whole body. Yunho glows with charisma and Changmin feels weak-kneed when he turns his way.

"Yeah, that's exactly how it needs to be. Ah, this is Changmin. My partner."

The two men grow wide eyed and blink a couple of times before politely bowing their heads in greeting. Changmin, on the other hand, forgets politeness altogether as he stares at Yunho in disbelief, with flushed cheeks and zero saliva in his mouth. Yunho gives him a hooded-eyed smile that tells stories of entangled bodies and intertwined hearts, unconcerned about the lighting operators and the puzzled stares they exchange.

 

\------------------

 

"What, you think they're going to fire me again? Please."

Changmin looks down his side. Despite his silent protests, Yunho doesn't let go of his sweaty, long-fingered hand. A sly grin is painted on his face as he struts along the walkway. He had insisted on showing him the convention hall to make him familiar with the place before performing, and now they're walking back to the staff quarters to retrieve Changmin's suitcase from Jaejoong's cabin.

Changmin tries hard to ignore the stares they get from passers-by. If he concentrates enough, he's able to feel the immense sense of safety that sparks from Yunho's hand clutching his own. Relaxing a bit, he lets his mind wander.

"What if Jae is still at work?"

"Don't worry Changminnie, if he agreed to cover the lunch shift even on his day off, I bet you they let him go after it was over. Plus, being the main chef guarantees a certain amount of freedom."

"He's so young, he must be really skilled at his job to obtain such a position."

"Well, most of the staff here is extremely young. We're either college students in dire need of money or unemployed young men and women who took on a summer job to pay the rent and various expenses. He happens to be the most skilled, yes, and the most experienced."

Yunho explains how Jaejoong has always helped at the restaurant managed by his mother, learning all kinds of recipes and tricks, and how all that ultimately paid off when he applied for the job at the resort a few years before. Changmin asks about his moving out and how it will affect his current situation, to which Yunho replies that the restaurant is a part of a chain with locations all over the country. Jaejoong's mother contacted the headquarters the moment she received the news of her husband's promotion, and she was immediately given a new one to manage.

"I see… So you guys all met here, right? How long ago was it?"

"Ah, it's been at least three years. I was already friends with Yoochun, actually we applied together. Then I met Junsu at dance class and I introduced them to each other. Lastly, Jaejoong came into picture. The great thing is that we all live in the same town, so we're able to see each other and hang out even during the winter when this place is closed."

Changmin learns that for the rest of the year, Yoochun works part time at a coffee shop while Junsu can just live off his savings that get punctually replenished by his affluent parents. They basically let him do what he wants in exchange for the promise that one day he will take over his father's company. Aware of their son's love for dancing, they allow him to work during the summer, and Yunho tells Changmin that despite his wealth, Junsu is very down-to-earth and approachable. He chose to live with Yoochun in the latter's modest rooftop, even though he owns a couple of penthouses and various apartments scattered over the town.

After Yunho's long talk about jobs and living arrangements, Changmin feels a knot in his throat. He squeezes Yunho's hand, almost as if to make sure he's real and still by his side.

"Being brave doesn't put a roof on your head…"

Yunho is about to open his mouth but Changmin speaks again, cutting him off.

"I know what you're about to say. I know it was the right thing to do, I'm more than aware by now. It's just that… What am I going to do? I feel like I'm being teared apart. On one hand, I'm thrilled to experience life and eager to make the most out of it. On the other hand, I can't deny the fear that grips me whenever I think about my future. I don't even know what I want to do."

He turns to face him with eyes full of hope and dread. _I only know I want to be with you, no matter what._

"Changmin!"

A high-pitched screech cuts through the air and makes them whip their heads around in surprise. Once again, Yunho can't say what he was about to say. Changmin's parents are quickly approaching.

"Finally! We've been looking for you everywhere."

As his mother eyes their joined hands with an unreadable expression, his father grabs his elbow and yanks him away from Yunho, effectively breaking their contact.

"Listen to me carefully, son. You're not going to embarrass yourself and us by dancing with this person tonight. The whole resort will be watching and I sure don't want to become laughing stock. You decided to leave home and you can go stay under a bridge, for all I care. But tonight you're going to sit beside us and pretend everything is perfectly alright. And you, try to follow us and I'll have you sued for stalking."

He points at Yunho and shoots him a disgusted leer before roughly pulling his son away and leaving in the same direction he came from. Changmin spins his head around but his mother partially blocks his view. In the corner of his eyes, he thinks he sees Yunho falling to his knees.


	12. Chapter 12

Changmin's parents are both silent during the brief walk from the convention hall to their apartment. His father just holds his deathly grip on his arm, while his mother tries to look anywhere but at him. She seems shaken and worried in equal measure, but Changmin doesn't give much thought to her feelings. He's busy registering what had happened minutes earlier. After a moment of pure astonishment, the burning indignation of a broken heart talks in his place.

"You really are shameless. Who gave you the right?"

His scorching words and defiant attitude find no reply.

As he's about to spit more fire, in hope of getting them worked up because he desperately needs to yell and fight, his father shoves him inside the apartment and gestures at his wife to take him away. The next thing he does is reach inside the liquor cabinet and take out an already half-empty vodka bottle.

Changmin's mother looks at his husband, then down at the five red marks that start blooming on her son's pale skin. Gently, she guides him to the master bedroom with a little push on his back. Once they're both inside, she closes the door behind her. Changmin notices the slight fidgeting and the nervous lip biting. Swallowing all of his rage, he decides it's now or never.

"Mommy."

It's unusual for him to call her that. In fact, he never did. It's intimate, warm, something that never belonged in their household. He cringes, but less than he had expected to. He figures that maybe he can reach out to her this one time. Maybe he can grab her and pull her away from his father's wicked influence. Maybe, just maybe, she still has a bit of humanity left under all of those layers of insensitivity and insincerity. A shiver shakes her body as Changmin utters that tender word. _The signs are there, I just caught them a little late. Still, if I try…_ He takes her hands in his own.

"You cure people for a living, even save them. How can you be so overbearing? Where's your sympathy? Did he take it from you?"

A gleam crosses her eyes but it's gone before Changmin can name it. She tries to produce one of her usual contrived smiles, only this time the lip biting gives away the amount of effort she's putting into trying to hold back tears. She squeezes Changmin's hands and nods at the red marks on his arm.

"Let's put some cream on those."

 

\------------------

 

They emerge from the room half an hour later. Changmin's body is clad in one of his father's tuxedos. It's a tailored, charcoal double breasted suit that makes him look older than he is. His size is the same as his father's, so the fitting isn't all wrong, but it just looks odd on him. With all his clothes locked inside the suitcase, his beloved slim fit black jeans and half sleeve blazers included, his mother didn't have much choice. She had decided on one of the youngest looking suits out of mr. Shim's wardrobe.

Changmin's little plan hadn't worked out as he had hoped. After having applied the cream on his bruises, his mother had dived into the wardrobe and carefully avoided to answer any of his questions. Frustration had quickly grown in his throat, but the same stubbornness she had evidently passed on to his son had prevented her from giving in. In the end he had been the one to throw in the towel. He had felt something break inside of him, and he knew that was the end of it. He had tried one last time to salvage his relationship with her, to look past the surface and search for even the tiniest speck of good will, but her reluctance had only proved him right for the umpteenth time. That was really it.

And now, the only thing holding him back from walking out this exact moment is fear. Fear of what his father is capable of. Fear of what might happen to Yunho if he really puts his mind to it. For the sake of his lover and with the heaviest of hearts, he chooses to go along with his father's wishes. He will make it up to Yunho one way or another.

_It's just for tonight. Just one last time. Then I'm free. We're free._

Like a plastic doll, he lets his mother take him arm in arm, and together they follow his father out of the apartment.

 

\------------------

 

The end of season revue is the biggest event of the resort, a feast to which every guest looks forward to for at least two reasons. The first one is the lavish buffet set up by the cooks in the middle of the room, a selection of mouth-watering delicacies just a few steps away from what would be the second reason: the stage. Any guest who expresses the desire to dabble in some kind of performance can step up and give it a try. It only takes an application, which is to be filed about two weeks before the show. It's usually singing numbers, but stand-up comedy and magic shows find favour too. Dance instructors, on the other hand, are encouraged, if not required, to present a number as a conclusion of their work in the resort and as a nice touch of professionalism in between amateurs.

Changmin half-listens to the director brag about it with his father. The Shim family is seated at a table nestled against a pillar on the left side of the room that makes Changmin feel trapped. His mother had chosen it personally, motioning him to take the chair in the corner. _Don't hide your face honey, you should always be able to overlook the whole room. Stage included._ His parents had settled down by each of his sides, effectively blocking a way of quick escape.

The resort's director had spotted Changmin's father from a distance and he had joined them for a brief toast. Now he's still there, busy praising the superb quality of the food, promising that the show is going to be oh so entertaining and funny, even asking if nobody in the family is going to take advantage of those five minutes of fame. Changmin's fists itch, and for a foolish second he entertains the idea of planting one in his face.

"We're not really interested in such things. We'd rather sit back and watch."

His father's resolute voice snaps him out of his blood-stained daydream. He loosens the grip on his glass he hadn't realized had grown so tight. The director finally moves over to another table, not before having bid them a good time. Changmin starts breathing normally again. He sighs silently, and it's like the anger slowly dwindles away underneath a thick layer of exhaustion. Chin on palm, he lazily scans the room out of habit.

He notices one of his mother's friends hovering around the buffet wearily, probably looking for something that's not drowning in grease and doesn't resemble a full course meal. Just as he's about to ponder how many trips to the buffet can be deemed socially acceptable, his mother pokes at his arm.

"Want to dive in?"

He turns his gaze on her. She stares back at him expectantly, pointing at the food with her ringed index finger. Thoughts of grilled prawns and pink peppercorn salmon inside Changmin's mind subside immediately.

"Not hungry. Thanks."

 

\------------------

 

It's only the third number and Changmin is already fed up with the travesty. It's all so cheesy and incredibly humiliating he thinks he might die from either boredom or second-hand embarrassment. He honestly can't decide what's more appealing, falling asleep or climbing up the stage and cutting the power cords.

With a tinge of bitterness, he remembers that Yunho's number was scheduled to be performed last. After a quick math, he counts another six numbers before that. It was supposed to be the big ending, and Changmin wonders what that fucking homophobe of a director is going to whip up now. Word must have reached him by this time, word that Yunho can't perform unless he magically produces a solo out of nowhere. Changmin's heart aches at the injustice of it all, at the thought of his lover's dream being crushed by a couple of stuck up assholes.

The fourth number requires the band's accompaniment. Yoochun goes on stage together with his bandmates and takes his place behind the keyboard. Somehow, he spots Changmin in the crowd. After the initial shock, his eyes shift over to Changmin's parents and his brows furrow in a scowl as he takes in the picture. In front of him, a cute girl takes the microphone and bows politely before the guests. Twenty seconds into the song, it's clear that she knows what she's doing.

Lulled by her smooth crooning, Changmin closes his eyes and thinks about Yunho.

 

\------------------

 

It starts as a faint rumble in the back of the room.

Nobody seems to notice, but Changmin does. Slowly, he turns his head towards the source of the noise. It sounds like someone is yelling behind the closed doors. _What is it, a rejected contestant causing a ruckus because he desperately wants to be made fun of?_

One of the doors flies open and someone barges in, shoving two bouncers aside and taking mighty strides along the passage between the tables. Suddenly, the whole room becomes aware of the intruder. Even the music stops with a screech, lyrics dying in the cute girl's throat.

The fiery steps of the angry guest come to a halt by the Shims' table and Changmin forgets how to swallow, forgets how to exist. He springs up from his chair but it's like his bones turn liquid and he struggles to stand straight.

If his eyes don't fail him, Yunho is towering over the table. Yunho, in a black t-shirt and black ripped jeans. His breath is labored, his whole body trembling under the weight of God knows what strong emotion. He's not looking at him though. He has his burning stare on Changmin's father.

"With all due respect, sir, I don't care if you sue me for stalking. I'm going to make that dance happen if it's the last thing I do, because no amount of money or petty threats can keep me away from what I love. Your son included."

He finally looks at Changmin. Passion, fondness, veneration, a tangle of feelings sets Yunho's eyes ablaze. He reaches over the table and Changmin automatically takes his hand. Squeezing himself between his mother's chair and the wall, he manages to slide out.

"Nobody puts Changmin in a corner."

Yunho tightens his grip on the younger man's hand and turns on his heels without another word, heading straight to the side of the stage. Before trailing after him, Changmin sees his father rise from his seat and his mother grabbing his forearm, keeping him from following them.

 

\------------------

 

The backstage is dark and hot. There's quite some activity behind the scenes, as the staff works to prepare the props for the following number. Yoochun almost trips over a cord to reach the spot where Yunho and Changmin are seated on stools facing each other, forehead against forehead, hands in hands.

"That was mind-blowing!!"

They raise their heads in sync, mildly startled. Despite all the movement and confusion created by the staff, they seem lost in their own little world. Yoochun smiles fondly.

"Man, it looked like something out of a movie! Was it staged? It had to be."

Yunho breathes out a chuckle and turns away from him, looking down at Changmin's hands he's still holding. Slowly, he thumbs over perfectly smooth skin and slender fingers. 

"Nope, it all came pouring out. I just couldn't stomach it. You have to stand up for yourself and what you care about, don't you?"

He darts his eyes up to meet Changmin's and it's like he's talking to him instead of Yoochun. Changmin hasn't been really coherent since the previous events and all he's able to do in response is smile stupidly while his eyes turn into crescent moons.

"Alright, alright, I get it. I'll leave you two alone."

 

\------------------

 

By the time it's their turn, Changmin has a head full of sweet nothings and a heart full of overflowing love. Yunho raises from the stool and gently pulls him up to stand, groaning playfully at his pretend reluctance.

"Can't we just run away and leave it all behind?"

"Changminnie…"

It's a sweet scolding that reeks of _don't put weird ideas in my head_. Changmin's blissful mind toys with the thought for a long moment. His hands crawl up to Yunho's chest, palms resting against the thin cotton fabric of his black t-shirt. Yunho covers them with his own and inhales deeply, his eyelids fluttering close.

"Baby, we have to change."

Changmin's knees tremble. Yunho's low and raspy voice still manages to make him dizzy and it takes him some time to understand what he means.

"Ah, yes. Change into our shiny silk shirts and tight black pants, so that everybody in the room can see what effect we have on each other."

Yunho grins without opening his eyes.

"Exactly. We're up in five."


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter. I REALLY wanna thank you all for having put up with this mess for all this time!! I LOVE YOU <333

Changmin fumbles with the zipper of his pants in a desperate attempt at closing it with one hand, the other one being busy reaching for the shoes on the shelf. He's this close to giving up, when he feels someone press up behind him. With his arm still suspended in the air just above the shoes, he looks down at his crotch to see two hands pushing his own aside and pulling his zipper up. Breath hitching and heart leaping up to his throat, he turns his head just in time for Yunho to capture his mouth and encircle him in his burly, strong arms. Luckily, there's not a soul in sight in the improvised dressing room. For the first time in a long time, everything feels pretty damn right.  


"We have less than two minutes to get on that stage..."  


"I know, Changminnie. Just let me hold you like this for a little bit."

  


\------------------

 

The spotlight practically blinds Changmin and suddenly his head is too clear and he feels like throwing up all over the stage. On one hand, he's grateful for the momentary inability to see because this way he doesn't have to worry about the guests and their stare, but on the other hand, everything else is fucking terrifying and for a split second he's overcome with the urge to just bolt out into space. Yunho does a good job at keeping him straight up.  


"Come on. It will all be over before you can say 'I fucking hate everybody in this room'."  


Changmin muffles a snort into the back of his hand, a sudden, unasked for hilarity jolting through him. Yunho shakes his head in amusement and leads him to the middle of the stage.  


After a quick bow to the audience, which is promptly met by a weak round of applause sprinkled with a few whispers here and there, everything goes so fast that Changmin can barely get a sense of what he's doing. A loud buzz replaces the music in his ears and he just follows Yunho's lead, just looks into his eyes and never once down at their feet, exactly the way he's been taught.  


The soft touch of silk when he brushes Yunho's shoulder, the strong grip that Yunho has on the little of his back, the explosions of heat that light up Yunho's eyes, everything feels like a really hot and steamy dream. It's like being drunk on gasoline and Changmin kind of loves it, kind of loves the flames that lick at his stomach. His feet almost don't touch the ground, in Yunho's arms he weighs maybe a feather and a half.  


All at once, the rhythm pierces the cocoon and Changmin hatches out of it. It all becomes painfully clear and real, the tapping of their heels on the ground and their breaths together over the sound of congas and maracas and a couple of extremely loud trumpets.  


Changmin envisions himself in a smoky bar in Havana. He's lounging near the counter with a Cuba Libre in his hand, people around him dancing themselves to ashes as salsa blares from the speakers. Someone emerges from the crowd and of course it's Yunho with a rose between his lips and of course Changmin has it all wrong because that's obviously something that belongs in a tango but whatever, Yunho looks good enough to eat anyway. The Cuba Libre lies forgotten on the counter as Changmin gravitates towards the dance floor.  


He snaps out of his fantasy because the real Yunho launches him into a double, triple spin and the room just doesn't stop spinning afterwards.  


"Hang in there, it's almost over."  


Yunho whispers words of encouragement when his back faces the audience. Changmin nods faintly, making a mental note to tell him about his ridiculous daydream later on.

  


\------------------

 

The ring of applause is still loud in Changmin's ears even hours after the performance, and flashes of the standing ovation that the guests had given them still appear randomly before his closed eyes. Now that it's all over, now that breathing doesn't hurt anymore, and even Yunho's bed seems more comfortable than ever, he thinks about how he had to conjure every ounce of willpower to resist the urge to run off stage and go hide himself in the dressing room, taking all the cheering and clapping instead. Yunho had held his hand and together they had bowed deeply before the audience. Upon raising his head, Changmin had purposely avoided looking at his parents, opting for a quick glance around the crowd. Wide eyed, he had thought that everybody must had been blinded by Yunho's talent, because he was pretty sure his own performance had been a complete disaster. Three familiar faces in the far back of the room had brought about a smile, and seeing the proud look on them had made him beam with equal pleasure, half convincing him that maybe he really hadn't sucked so bad after all.

A few minutes after the performance, the owners of said faces had reached him and Yunho backstage with three bottles of champagne, initiating a toast that ended up soaking half the gang. As a big middle finger to the director and Changmin's parents and generally everybody who hadn't been on their side, the five friends had left the hall through the back door, effectively avoiding the rest of the staff and the guests.

Without even waiting to reach the cafeteria, they had partied along the way to the staff quarters, singing and dancing and just being obnoxiously happy. Yoochun and Junsu had kept kissing and fondling each other, with Jaejoong not-too-subtly trying to join in. Changmin, who had taken pity on such a sight, had scooted over to him and enveloped him in a bear hug.  


Midway to their destination, a summer storm had started to brew in the distance. The air had grown colder all of a sudden, with thunder rumbling deeply and a faint lightning illuminating the otherwise dark night. Yunho had removed Jaejoong from Changmin's grip, deaf to the whining of the former and the giggling of the latter. He had urged everbody to hurry to their own cabins, hastily bidding them goodnight before scooping up Changmin and vanishing into the shadows.  


Changmin clearly remembers Yunho's face when he had asked him if he was afraid of storms. He remembers Yunho shushing him and putting him to bed, then switching off the lights and bolting the door and windows shut. Heavy rain had started pouring down mere seconds after that.  


High on love and (mostly) champagne, Changmin had switched the bedside lamp on and happily jumped off the bed, blabbing something about how cool summer storms were. Yunho had switched the light off again with a loud curse, then tackled him to the bed and slipped underneath the sheets himself. They had stayed like that for a long time. Rain had kept pouring, and Yunho had kept holding him.  


But sleep doesn't come easy to Changmin. He came down from his drunken high about half an hour ago, and now his mind is more awake than ever, sharper and faster than the lightning outside. Judging by the deep and steady breaths that reach his ear, the lover wrapped around his back like the softest and warmest blanket is soundly asleep. He tries to concentrate on them, hoping that the calming pattern mixed with the sound of rain might help him drift off.  


"Let's live together."  


Okay. Maybe Yunho is not sleeping. Or maybe Changmin has heard wrong, it wouldn't be the first time he sleep talks. Just to be sure of it, he switches the bedside lamp on and carefully turns his head to look at him. Yunho's eyes are closed, they even crinkle a bit because of the light.  


"Changminnie, the lamp… The storm…"  


"Oh come on, it's not like we're going to blow up. By any chance, were you sleep talking?"  


Changmin is not sure why he's whispering in response to Yunho's mumbling. The older man still hasn't opened his eyes, but his grip on Changmin's waist suddenly grows tighter as his mouth grows closer to his ear.  


"I love you. Let's live together?"  


Changmin blinks. Then again. Then he turns his whole body around to face him and without too much finesse, he pries Yunho's right eye open with his thumb and index finger.  


"Are you sure you want to take in a stray like me?"  


"I want to take in the man I love. Who happens to be a stray. A brave, talented, gorgeous stray."  


Changmin pretty much turns into a salt statue. He doesn't know whether to rejoice or cry, so he just stays still, eyes fixed on his lover's small, sleepy face. That is, until he speaks again.  


"Since when do you need reassuring, you silly baby?"  


That's when Changmin blows hard in Yunho's eye and turns around again to switch off the light, grumbling about storms and electrocutions but secretly smiling with glossy eyes and a singing heart.

 

\------------------

 

The smell of black coffee and burnt toast wakes Changmin up, just in time for breakfast. It takes his eyes some time to adjust, because the windows are now all open and the sun shines bright inside the cabin, casting its warm light on Yunho's bare back as he clatters by the sink. Changmin intends to burns the sight on his retinas. Keeping his gaze on him, he carefully slides out of bed and silently approaches the place where he's standing. As he draws nearer, he realizes that Yunho is humming the tune to which they had danced, their salsa song. Grinning from cheek to cheek, he sneaks up behind him and puts his hands over his eyes.  


"Hmm. Who could this be? I need a hint."  


Mildly disappointed that he didn't jerk in shock, nor drop a bowl or something, Changmin licks his lips and goes for it.  


"Not going to make this easy for you… I'm the best dancer around. And I'm really really handsome."  


"It's my Changminnie then!!"  


With that, Yunho grabs the younger man's hands and turns around, eyes sparkling with glee. Changmin pouts.  


"You're no fun to play with."

  


\------------------

 

"We could live off Junsu, you know. Go nestle up in that nice attic of his, just outside town. The view is amazing. Really, baby, you don't have to finish that! I won't feel bad, I know I'm crap at cooking..."  


Changmin shakes his head as he guzzles down another piece of burnt toast, trying hard not to choke on it.  


"It's fine. About that, don't you think we should at least pay the rent?"  


"Of course, but how-"  


The doorbell interrupts Yunho. He rises from his chair with a frown and goes over to the door, opening it without thinking twice about it. Changmin considers that maybe he should have watched throught the peephole for good measure first, but he can't say anything because Yunho has already stepped aside to let the guest in.  


"Mom?"  


Changmin gets up and almost automatically goes to stand beside his partner, keeping his eyes on Mrs. Shim as she steps inside the cabin. Impeccable in her purple silk blouse and gray pencil skirt, she extends a hand for Yunho to shake.  


"I'm Changmin's mother, but I guess you already know that."  


Yunho awkwardly takes her hand and shakes it slowly, glancing at Changmin as if to check his reaction.  


"Before we leave, I have something to tell you both."  


"Mom, please, I think you and dad have been more than clear about it. Please, just please-"  


"No, I am the one who has to plead here. I am sorry. I am really, truly, so sorry. For everything."  


What follows are tears, pleas, and more tears. Yunho looks oddly unsure of what to do, which Changmin thinks isn't like him at all. The one who gives him strength, the one who leads, now just stands there in a stupor.  


Mrs. Shim rubs her eyes with her polished fingertips, scoffing lightly at herself.  


"Ah, forgive me… I thought I could hold it back, I was so set on making things right… Anyway, please accept this."  


She slips a hand inside her purse and pulls out an envelope, which she hands to Changmin. Suddenly aware of what's inside, he's about to hand it back with words of indignation, but before he can even speak or move, she's already half outside the door.  


"Don't be offended, honey. It's just a little thing to help you start your life together. I sincerely hope it will be happier than mine."  


Changmin stares at the bulky envelope. Maybe he had done it after all? Maybe he had succeeded in reaching out to her. And now she was gone. Overcome with emotions and the desire to make things right on his side as well, he shoves the envelope in Yunho's hands and darts out of the door. He stops only when he finds himself in his mother's arms, tears mixing and thank yous overlapping.

 

\------------------

 

People talk about the gay couple's dance number for a long time after that summer, and many guests return the following year in hope of seeing them on stage again. Much to everybody's dismay, though, they're both nowhere to be seen. The resort's management, in the meantime, puts out a job listing for a dance instructor and a cook.

Three young girls swear they have seen the taller boy waiting tables at this cute little new Thai restaurant in the middle of town, which is managed by a bubbly, young chef with a knack for spicy creations who often goes on about the broke musician and the rich heir who live in the tiny rooftop just above his rented flat. Good hearted and affectionate, he treats his customers like family, giving out advice and trying to help in any way he can. One time, he even convinced a middle aged couple that had lamented a lack of stimuli to sign up for a latin dance class in a newly opened dance school, pinpointing the fact that the owner was one of his best friends and a great person overall.  


 _You should totally go_ , he had told them. _Not only for good fun. Dancing awakens the spirit and fuels the imagination. It develops self confidence and strengthens the bond between two partners._ Then he had lowered his voice in a conspiratorial tone and nodded over to the tall, lanky waiter who was clearing a table nearby. _Love is a lot like dancing. You just surrender to the music._  
  



End file.
